Sounds probably familiar to any writer? It does to me. Normally I have a great memory and some of my keywords come back later.

Now I do have a lot on my mind and the past two years of my life have been hectic. I am not that used to that. Normally I was just a bored housewife accepting the rules of her husband, without thinking to avoids fights.

Today I try to focus back on writing. My English is certainly improving and I hope not to neglect my native Dutch language.

Some tests for a job course made clear to me today that I am surely not a star when it comes to French and typing … I did my worse ever.

I work on a keyboard daily and I kind of type blind. But I got so nervous that I could barely read the text I had to copy. My dactylo was on the back of my mind and my slippery wet fingers just hit the wrong keys. I hit the caps lock when I just needed to shift and started typing in capitals, which I had to backspace and this cost me time, making me even more nervous. Suddenly all words became a blur of letters and nothing made sense.

Also the text stressed me. It was about bullying and it reminded me a lot of what I had been through during my school career.

I have to admit some traumas in my life give me some kind of post traumatic stress symptom. It is getting better, but I do use writing as some kind of therapy.

Normally I am under control. Today not. It might have started bad this morning. I went to bed earlier than usual, since I had to get up early. This is why I did not make a draft of the great idea I had.

I had a great night of sleep, but did not hear the alarm clock, or it did not went off. I do not know, but I awoke at the time I had to get to the test.

Being late is the last thing I want and I hate myself when I do so. So I called and I could come later. But I still feel horrible about that alarm clock. It was set. The pin was still in that position and normally it beeps till I get up. The hour was right, but I heard no beeping.

I dived in my cloths, ran instead of walked to the exams and was so bloody stressed out that I am sure I did my worst on many things.

So life has it’s way. Back to my idea: I had it back and transformed it into an article.