I can write a 100 articles on how to handle certain situations. I do know my science. Psychology, sociology, … makes sense to me.

But humans don’t.

Yes, I can advice others. I can write tons on that. But it does not stop my heart from breaking. It does not stop me from cracking down.

I do it all wrong when things come to turn. You cannot control your heart.

Life is not fair. We all get broken, except those whitout a heart.

Often did I long to rip mine out. Yes, I understand the fatal attraction to cold blooded crimals.

We all long to be them. They do not obey the law, they do not care for others, but stand up for themselves, using others as tools, puppets, objects of lust.

They get their attention. They are all over the news, like super stars.

It makes sense, but when you do not cross that line, life can be less fine.

Love is not pleasing, neither is hate.

A one way street love, that never gets replied, makes cold blood.

I know there are people that love me. I am not too blind to see, but it are always those I love most, that turn their back on me.

I do keep distance of certain others. For my own safety.

But a cruel criminal I sometimes like to be. No heart that can be broken. No guilt, no regret. Is emptiness that bad?

Those that made me feel I had a friend and denied me in the end, are the ones that hurt me so bad, I do not want to feel anymore.

Fine memories turn into hell.

I am a loner. Not by choice, but by cruel fate. I feel others hate.

I love to kill, rip people apart, like they did with my heart. I long to slice them, for hurting me.

But I won’t. I’ll write my frustration down, because it won’t go away.

There are no loving arms to hold me. Not the ones I like.

I long to hate, wishing I was stronger. I long to shed blood.

But I’ll just write this down, hoping somebody would understand how outcasts can become outlaws.