I Used To Worry

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I used to worry because I thought I was being watched, but lately I’ve been starting to hear the laugh track.  Really.  You have to turn your head a certain way.

They messed up the other day, one of them said hello to me and called me by my secret name.  I never told anyone that my secret name is “Buddy”, so, what’s up with that? 

And that one dude on TV seems to be looking askance in my direction.  Or is it askew?

But the girl reporters always try to avoid eye contact with me when they report stories with sexual overtones or undermines.   How I hate them.  No, I love them, whores.

Then there’s the same guy that says hi to me every time I park my car at the store.  Sometimes when I am coming out of the store he tries to “help” me with my bags, but I tell him to shove off, I know what he’s up to, stupid.  Stupid T-shirt doesn’t fool anybody.

Sometimes they slide in this “my mom” clone that keeps asking me over and over am I alright, as if I would ever tell them.

She‘s easy.  All I have to do is scream at the top of my lungs and she goes away.

I don’t know how they keep my whole house spinning, but they do somehow, except the bathroom, where I sleep.

Stay out of my yard at night, for sure.  Things are landing and unlanding, and some things are punching big holes in the ground from the underside, and something howls, but only when I’m there.

The programs on my microwave screen are always about food cooking.

I keep my “medications” in a safe in the toilet, where they can’t do any harm.  The combination:  one flush locks them in.  Nobody will get them out of there, no matter how hard they try.

Someone with a landlord voice pounds on the door once a month or so.  He won’t leave me alone until I sign some stupid thing, but I use my “real” name when I sign, so I’m not worried.

Come visit me sometime when the signs are clear.

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http://www.triond.com/users/LewSethics

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http://authspot.com/poetry/run-with-scissors-kick-the-cat/

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http://authspot.com/short-stories/one-day-at-the-watering-hole-silence-is-golden/

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http://authspot.com/thoughts/affordable-mental-aberrations/

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