Walking the streets I have often never noticed anything apart from my own two feet. Sometimes I notice the other people, some in front of me and some behind. Sometimes the sound of my own feet just get drowned out by a weird emptiness which I can’t explain. The more I walk the streets of my own town the more each individual road just becomes the same as the next. Very little difference and very little to compare to anything I have seen in the past. During the day they don’t even feel like they exist and sometimes they don’t feel real to me.
Whether it rains, or whether it snows they all still look the same, just a different frosting hiding what is already there. Yes they appear different, but they are still the same bits of road I have walked down many times before. My head can comprehend how different they look but it can not comprehend how different they feel. When it snows the surroundings feel different too all other people, the same when it rains.
Am not an emotionally stunted person I just have blocked out all knowledge of how surroundings are meant to feel. Having really only ever known how bad surroundings can feel I am not quite sure how if I even know how a good feel to a surrounding feels.
Ive walked the streets late at night. I noticed then that they do feel different. It’s not my fear making that happen as I walk alone. It was more my senses being heightened. Late at night the senses are more alert in the dark whether your alone or not. All at once smells, sights and sounds just jumped out at me. Nothing can be done to calm it all down.
The streets, even though they are not busy, they are so much more alive than they are during they day. People don’t make a street what it is, they merely make it appear alive, they cover up whats really there, what’s hidden in the walls and what’s hidden in the pavements. If they could talk they would tell everything that really happens, if they could read minds they would say what really happens in people’s heads and what they are really up too.
It doesn’t matter how many times you walk a street in day, you still wont ever appreciate the true value of that concrete or tarmac until you actually walk it at night. Many people go for a walk in the day when they want to clear their head and collect their thoughts together. If your really wanting to think about something walk the streets at night. At night the quiet gets to you and it annoys you so much that you make a point to really think about whats on your mind.
The street is your only company at night walking it, the street lights light the way and the few passing cars are just mere mortals hurrying away to some distant land. Each step you take is another step into the empty appearing darkness. You feel like your being followed, maybe you are or maybe because your walking the street at night your able to concentrate on how you really feel and your sense of being followed is merely your sense of guilt.
Why do you feel guilty? Who knows, chances are your feeling guilty for no reason or maybe you think something is your fault even though it is not. Maybe you have a reason to feel guilty. Walking in the dark makes you realise this more and so you can act on it more and get it together to deal with it properly. Walking in the daytime there are so many more distractions than there are at night and you can easily forget why you took that walk in the first place.
It doesn’t matter when you walk that street, the street is always going to be cold and hard be it summer or winter. If you try and make it appear warm and soft your only trying to hide its true reality and this helps no one. A piece of concrete no matter what colour you paint it or what kind of spin you put on it, its always going to be cold and grey underneath. You can pain a blade of grass white on a pitch somewhere, it doesn’t change the fact that that blade of grass is green. Yes appearances can be decieving but you have to find the reality within the deceptin in order to follow the right course.
It’s weird how just walking along a road, no matter how many times you do it can make you feel, and it’s weird how it can make you think. I have written this after having taken a walk. I took this walk during the day, but I know that if I take the same path tonight I will feel different and I will indeed think differently. More alert at I might be but my mind works differently when it is dark. This is not the case for some people but I know for most this is the case.
Sometimes you can walk in the rain and you feel sad and you will think sad things, when you walk in the sun you think happy things and you generally feel happy. The weather does indeed have an effect on how we think but where you walk plays an even bigger part.
Walk down a well established street and you will feel happy and you wonder what these people do in order to achieve so well. Walk down that street at night when it appears bare as the dark hides everything and you think how creepy the trees look and how alone you feel. Walk down a less established street and you do feel lonely and you feel sorry for the people who live there, walk down that street at night and you stll feel those same emotions only they are more hightened only this time the fear is stronger as you think can these particular people be trusted.
The mind works in many ways and it takes on many forms and challenges. Sometimes you can live with it and other times you can’t and you feel the need to break down and cry. Sometimes I bet we all even try not to think to stop any pain hoping that it will go away only to find out that it doesn’t. I bet sometimes we all even wish we never had thought and so we would never have to try again.
It doesn’t work like that and it will never be that easy, which is why I walk the streets. I know that this appears odd but you can learn so much about everything. Try it. You will be amazed at how much you can learn about the people around you that you think you know, you will see things that you did not even realise were there if you look hard enough. You will be enthralled at what you thought you knew about yourself but did not really.
I don’t walk the streets to learn about any of this, I walk the streets for inspiration for what I write but I can’t help but learn about everything around me. Why do I walk the streets at night though? Because it all makes much more sense at night. Everything falls into place when its just you and an empty street at the dead of night. Taking the time to marvel and contemplate can do wonders for everything.
A street in the day is busy and has so much to offer, but at night it has much more to offer than it did in the day. It may not feel safe in the night, but the salvation it can offer in just your thoughts is one thing that can only be achieved if you really want it but you have to do it at night for it to really be worth something that is meaningful. On the walk back home in the day the distractions of the day are enough to make you forget what you learnt. On the walk back at night the lessons sink in and they stay with you.
A thought can be a lonely place and the world an even more lonely one. A lesson you learn should be enough to make it worth the while and the fight worth fightng. We are always in a constant battle with our emotions and our minds. Just sometimes only the real humans see admit to this fight and seek a way to resolve it even though they know they will never stop it. Seek and you shall find an answer but only if you want to become a better human than you already are.
I walk the streets, I do it at night and at day. At night I feel like something is following me, but I revel in the lessons that I learn and what I see on the street means so much more to me than when I see them in the day.