I’m overweight. I want to be slim like I used to be. I want to look good in clothes. I want to move with grace and look graceful when I walk but I can’t when I look like a cow. I know that doesn’t sound nice but it’s still true. When I dress up and look in the mirror instead of a slim, svelte, curvaceous person I see this thick, matronly looking woman that doesn’t even look like me. I don’t want to look matronly. NOOOO!

It’s not that I’m that young but just because you’ve got some age on you doesn’t mean you’ve got to have a lot of weight on you. I see women here and there and on the television that look my age and are slim. Why not me?

Because I eat – a lot. I love food. All kinds of food. American, Middle Eastern, Asian, Mexican, you name it I’m sure I love it. Oh, and sugar, it is the bane of my existence. I crave the crap and yes that is what sugar is. It is so delicious though. It makes the most awful tasting stuff taste so good. And fat, wonderful, rich fat (not the stuff around my middle though) be it butter or olive oil, seared fat on steaks or pork chops and under the chicken skin; it tastes so luscious.

But getting back to what I said earlier, I want to be slim. I want to like what I see in the mirror at least when it’s in clothing. So, I have designed a way of eating. Believe me it’s the only way it will work as I’ve tried so many other ways. I’m not even being that hard on myself I’m eating five to six times a day. I’m eating sensible amounts of food I love except for the sweets. It’s just that I can’t eat all the time after dinner and it’s killing me. It’s 10:30 at night and I’m so hungry.

Good grief my husband just passed me with a bag of salty, buttered popcorn. I want some and I want nice salty potato chips with dip and I want ice cream and I want southern fried chicken thighs. I would eat them too if it weren’t for my decision today to lose weight once and for all and then to stay slim. I just have to stick with it until my bad eating habits die out. Then eating the way I have today will satisfy me. I swear it will!