I look at the frozen window at a world that has lost all feeling. The air is brisk and I am losing hope. How did this happen? If only I could turn back time and start over, if only I could be erased.

                Pain hits me hard as I think of you.  How much I miss you, how could I be such an idiot? Seeing you with her kills me, I know there is nothing I can do. The icicles hang onto my window pane dripping oh so slightly. The frost sits perfectly in decoration. I walk down stairs and explain to my parents that I am going to take a walk and will be home later. They say its okay and I grab my coat and walk outside. Slowly small flakes of snow fall from the sky. They are just beginning to cover the dark black pavement on the road. One by one they fall and slowly begin to engulf the world around me. Small snowflakes fall onto my neck and the cold leaves a small pang of hurt. The snow reminds me of us.  Of how cold I can be actually.  If only I could change the past. If only I could save myself.

                I take a deep breath in feeling the cold bite at my flesh. I keep myself upright feeling the icy cold, this at least keeps my mind some-what distracted. The snow reminds me of one of my favorite books.

“Stay Icy Naleta, Stay Icy” I whisper under my breath.

                A little bit of self talk calms me down. As long as I stay Icy I will not let a single tear fall. If I did it would show weakness. I can’t do that. I’m being watched.

I can feel it; I can feel a pair of eyes glued to my back, burning a hole through my soul.

“Naleta…” A voice whispers.

It’s you. What are you doing here? How did you know I would be here, a place of memories? My heartbeat guided me to this place, not my mind. The woods. The ones where we saw fireworks on the fourth of July. The place we shared our first kiss on June 19th. The place…the place I first met you.