Society has a way of dictating to us how we should live our lives and behave during our day to day routines. Maybe it really isn’t society. Maybe it’s the way we were brought up believing we should do to others as we would want others to do unto us…all that mumble jumble crap our parents fed us while growing up. We were raised to know right from wrong, to marry and be faithful and to put up with whatever is thrown our way. Why? Why do we have to live a life of pretense? That is what we’re living isn’t it? A life of pleasing others while we wish for what we really want to do in life. Which most of us know we have a secret wish of REALLY living the life we believe will make us happy and whole.

We’re so afraid to do something out of the ordinary for fear of being ostracized and shunned. Yes our families will be hurt and even humiliated if we do something totally unacceptable. But what about what we want? Don’t we get to choose and do what makes us happy? Do we have to continue living a life of misery, sadness or emptiness just to make others happy? Who said we need to sacrifice our happiness for others? Why should we? If I knew then what I know now I would be living ‘la vida loca’. Ricky Martin knew exactly what he was saying when he wrote that song. I want to live my life how I want without the fear of worrying who I will hurt or what will they think of me in the process. I want to live! Why not? Do I wish to sit in a rocking chair at the age of 90 plus and regret not doing what I really wanted to do with my life? No, I want to sit in that rocking chair with a big ‘kool-aid’ smile on my face and say , ‘yeah…I lived a good life. I did good and bad things but it was all worth it because I did it for me.” 

That’s what this life is all about because we are not getting any younger, the opportunities are fewer and far in between and quite frankly, who should give a damn what we say or do? I’m sure secretly most of us are fantasizing about things we want to do or try out but due to whatever our current situations are, we’re going through the motions like robots and not ‘actually’ doing what we desire. Well some I’m sure have had their share of delving into the dark side without getting caught and I’m not necessarily referring to being unfaithful.  There are plenty of things we secretly wish to do and/or experiment with but we’re so set on walking that straight line we really wouldn’t know how to go about doing whatever it is we ‘think’ we’re missing out on.

Let’s touch on relationship for a start. We’re conditioned from an early age to be responsible, faithful, supportive and forgiving to our mates. Sometimes this could be a true test because not every significant other stays true to their mates or give fifty/fifty to the relationship yet as conditioned as we are, we tend to deal with it. Why? Because we are bred to believe marriage, relationships and commitments are sacred and nothing should get in the way of it.  Well, some women (or men) will go through life with blinders and ignore those indiscretions and go through life like it were a fairy tale. Uhmmm, hello? There is no such thing as “happily ever after” or the proverbial “knight in shining armor”, wake up America, life is a reality and not a fantasy, the perfect mate is ‘non-existent’ and we are not living the life of Sleeping Beauty or Snow White…well at least I’m not.

Then I think back and realized we are the product of our upbringing. Yeah, Moms and Dads drill in our heads the importance of waiting for that perfect mate to come and sweep us off our feet. The person who will make us happy for the rest of our natural lives. They also convince us at the first sign of trouble that it’s just a bump in the road and we need to work things out….Hello? how do you work things out when your mate is cheating on you with another and/or beats the daylights out of you when you failed to do as they wished? Are parents that clueless to believe sons and daughters need to live in a vacuum of nothingness for appearances sake? Yes they are.

Well, I have rambled and quite frankly lost what point I really wanted to make here but in any event as comical and unrealistic as life is. I believe we all DO eventually live that secret fantasy we hold in our hearts and if if brings us pleasure without hurting anyone intentionally then I say…go for it.   Live. Love. Lie if you have to. For tomorrow…..tomorrow may never come.