1. You must be sensitive and compasssionate, but strong enough to keep us both above the water.

2. You must be willing to sacrifice your preferences for the good of both of us.

3. If you have a MAC computer, you must get rid of it, or hide it somewhere where I will never be tempted to use it.

4. You must have a stable career that could support us if I decide to go after one of my lower-income hobbies, like owning a guinea pig shelter or making jewelry.

5. You must be an animal lover, or at least respect my wishes for you not to go out and hunt them.

6. You must be intelligent, but not rub-it-in-your-face intelligent.

7. You must have good personal hygiene. I don’t care how charming you are if you can’t manage to take a shower ever so often.

8. You must be sick of the word must by now If the right person is reading this…good luck!