I’m just going to say to you guys what I want to tell the guy I love…

I still love you and I always will. And I want you back…but that doesn’t seem to matter. The man I fell in love with… he isn’t you. He left months ago. Then again the girl you fell in love with… she is probably gone too. But she stuck around long after she should have. That’s why I’m in so much pain. I used to always call you my Nick because calling you my best friend under minded how strongly I feel about you. But I know he left. Because if he didn’t leave he wouldn’t have felt feelings for her. He wouldn’t have cheated on me emotionally when I needed him. He would be here for me right now. He would be holding me. He wouldn’t have let me go through this much pain. He would make me smile. He would love me. He would show me he loved me. He would have never been her friend when I told him not too. Well he wouldn’t have stayed her friend for this long knowing how she made me feel. He wouldn’t have disappointed my parents. He wouldn’t be making up every excuse not to see me. He would do everything he possibly could to be here for me and love me and show me that he means it!

But I just sit here… loving you hoping that I’ll find a glimmer of him left. I don’t know why but I do. I do still see part of him in you. I just want him to come out. Do you want to know why? BECAUSE I LOVE YOU! But you make it clear that you don’t love me back. You make it clear that you stopped caring a long time ago.

You took my heart as if it was an apple. You removed my core and proceeded to peel my heart apart until all I have left is a pile of heart shreds and yet I still love you with every little piece.

I even miss how you smell! The sound of your voice! The feel of your arms around me! The touch of your lips! You curly hair in my fingers! Your hands! Your body! I miss everything about you! All the way down to your unique belly button. I miss you!

I want you back. Our friends say that you don’t know what you’ve lost. And I believe that I want you back so badly that you havn’t had the chance to realize what you lost. If you think that she will ever be able to love you the way I loved you… love you. You’re wrong. 

I love you. You’ve hurt me so much that I shouldn’t… but I do. And I need you. And I want you. But all I can do is wait until you deside that you want me too.

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