NUTS! I am nuts! I am crazy! 

Okay…you must be thinking this guy is either weird writing this article or you are asking yourself if you have any of the tell-tale symptoms you are going all freaky. 

Here are some fun clues that might just mean you need to see your shrink!

1. You tell the man or woman you love you don’t love them anymore and then go silent and don’t speak to them for days or weeks.

Sounds like a game doesn’t it but most people have done this stupid act at some point. It is a sign you are completely insane and you need your head testing. Also you are a little too immature for real love. Especially if the love of your life never calls again and you realise you were too damned stubborn to make the first move! 

NB: If the other party doesn’t call after a week then give it up anyway. They are also stupid because their own pride stopped them from making contact too. This is completely pointless on both parties, whoever is right or wrong and you both need to seek professional head help.

2. You wash your car everyday and wax it. Yes, there are many people out there that do this and are so proud of their automobile they cannot help but wash and wax it everyday. Many men can be like this and notice how many people do this when taking delivery of a new car?

It is a sign you are obsessed with image and how you look.

Don’t bullshit me and say it is because you love the way it sparkles because after a few weeks of owning it the once-a-day wash and wax diminishes – especially if you realise you aren’t getting the looks you thought you would. Instead, neighbours frown upon you, kids laugh and point fingers and the old bag across the road has rang the water board to complain.

And when your so-called best friend makes “you are a wanker” signal to your other friends, then you know it is time to seek help.

3. Now guys this is aimed at you. That special ball game you couldn’t wait to sit at home in the comfort of your arm chair and watch whilst your girl sits on the phone bitching to her mates – forget it. You are seriously in need of help if the woman of your dreams puts on the stockings and suspenders and suddenly decides to go down on you.