I am not sure where I am or how I got here, but I am pretty sure something is wrong. I live in a world that does not make sense to me. The harder I try, the more chaotic the world I live in seems to be. Everyone says I can make a difference, but I do not see how. It’s not for lack of trying, it just seems like there is just way to much paper.

It seems as though it is impossible for me to even walk out the door without breaking one of the laws or rules that have been made to protect me, or have been assigned for my own best interest. How come someone else who doesn’t even know me knows better than I do what is in my own best interest? When was this right taken away from me and given to someone who really would not be affected at all in the event of my death? Is this justice?

My mother passed away a year ago. She was 87and had Alzheimer’s.  She was in a car accident with my dad and 3 of her ribs were broken.  The accident happened on a Friday. On Sunday they called us with the “good news” that we could come and take her home. She was only allowed to stay in the hospital for 3 days after an accident to prevent their insurance from being responsible for the bill. Anything more than 3 days is frowned on my insurance companies. So, after 3 days, dad who was 89, and I, went to pick her up. She could not sit in a car. In fact, she would not even be able to get to the car, so she was transported home by a private company.  A private nursing facility was provided to take “care” of her. Until her ribs got better. They came twice a week.

My mother had 2 knee and hip replacements, along with other physical problems that made it difficult for her to navigate. Now, on top of it all, she had 3 broken ribs. We were hoping they would send her to rehab, but instead we got the good news she would be coming home. My dad and I had no idea how we would take care of her.  She could barely sit up, and getting her up was a major project.