My Journey Through ‘thoughts’

    I woke with a mood this morning. Not talking about “Wifey”, but my own state of being. Wanderlust. I wanted to go somewhere….you know, an adventure where it was exciting and I didn’t have to sweat. A journey! Being retired, I have time to kill before boredom kills me. Later in the afternoon I prepared for the journey by stocking provisions. A 12-pk of Amber Bock……ex-large bag of fried hog skins and a large bag of peanut M&M’s.

    I normally keep beer around for when I watch football or Jimmy Swaggart but since neither was on I felt it would more than compliment my adventure.…..just me and my stock of provisions and the continent of the Internet. The trip was going to be the deep recesses and cyber jungle of ““. The virtual river of this exploration would be both deep and treacherous. I wanted to drink enough courage to get me through the next few hours of surprise and discovery. For all I knew, there would be a wasteland out there with pits, traps and snares all camouflaged with prose. 

    I started with RECENT BLOGS and then RANDOM BLOGS and finished up with a lot of time in NEW MEMBERS. Very interesting were the discoveries. As I would find out later, there was a plethora ofblog tribes that make up “thoughts”. I launched my virtual boat and began my exploration of the various member tribes along the riverBlogazon………… 

PERSONAL JOURNALS…….Very, very large tribe. Very. The largest of all the tribes. Thousands of inhabitants that want you to know their every movement and the cause and effect of their endeavors during the day. About their trip to the store to buy peroxide and Preparation H or about the garden of cabbages they planted. Some of these blogs are as short as one or two sentences. It’s like a reality show in a blog format. Boring to the point of drooling in most cases. But!!!!!! Blogs about confrontations, family interactions, adventures or awkward situations were some of the best blogs and the most fun to read.

CREATIVE WRITING…….. Fun loving and bright natives that often made sacrifices to their abused god SYNTAX. Here I could have spent hours. Poems….some beautiful and some confusing. Prose that often made me smile and shout or mope with tears.  Some ended with me wondering what in the hell was the point and then I would leave a vague comment like a string of trading beads and move on. Short stories of every subject, genre and weirdness. Some, absolutely wonderful. Some made me angry and often thoughtful. There were some, also, that just ended when the writer got tired. 

POOR ME…..…Most likely the third largest is the “poor me” tribe. Here I found the natives blogging about their uncontrolled weight issues, hypochondriac health situations, employment status, boyfriend or husband abuse, depression, self inflicted pain, thoughts of suicide, their jerk neighbors, their cruel teachers and their wicked step mothers. In this group the issues they discuss never change….ever. They blog over and over about the same problems. Seems like half their world is anorexic and the other half is bulimic. Pity junkies. 

    When friends and loved ones on this site are confronted with life threatening illnesses, we as a community want to know what’s happening so we can offer up support and prayers. Whether it’s a member of their family or themselves we tend to all pull together and show our love! But blogs that start off with “I think I might have kidney cancer but I’m so afraid to go to the doctor and I’m hurting for money so forget any operations…..”, this is gagging! The depression blogs, for the most part, are for soliciting sympathy comments only. A friend never has to tell you of their depression….as a friend, you can often read it in their words and then react as many do. Those that blog about suicide……well this shouldn’t be the first place you come to. Abuse? Well, how many redundant blogs with the same redundant comments will it take for a young woman to finally react and do something? Those that like cutting themselves……I have no comment.

    The nature of blogging is to both serve as a creative and emotional outlet that gains you positive attention and builds confidence and self-worth. Too many of these ‘other folks’ do it for the pity and shock value only. Please don’t get me wrong…..there are a few in this group that do need to be heard. Many with problems that are over whelming them and simple guidance and condolences often gives them the support structure they need. The rest are bogus.

RANTS……..This angry tribe loves to complain! About our culture, any culture, politics, big business, the war, the races, the mix races, bloggers writing about bloggers, their idiot husband, boyfriend, ‘partner’, their boss, American Idol and on and on. Long winded 800 word paragraphs of unstructured rage and discontent. Some of it is pretty damn good stuff!!

CONSPIRACIES……Oh my yes! This tribe is located in the darkest realm on the Blogazon! The government, the corporations, the schools, aliens, American Idol, the NFL, their next door neighbor and in some cases their spouses. Some of these natives seldom see the light of day. They sit in front of their computers with foil wrapped around their heads trying to write as cryptic as possible to fool the internal computer chip that was secretly installed by black Ninjas! These bloggers seldom use cell phones, just medication.

INFO………..Information is a smaller tribe where the natives make an effort to explain everything from why the sun doesn’t crash into us to how steam engines should be the world’s power source. They write about celebrities, problem cars, who will get the boot on American Idol and how to remove implanted Ninja chips. 

OBSERVATIONS……….is a large tribe that encompasses everything from watching idiots on the street corner to how fat people walk. How their pets and senile grandfathers interact. There is no decorum or sense of tact here. Just very honest down to earth bloggers. Here you will find some of the most humorous bits of writing. Mark Twainist.

POLITICS………Here I discovered that most of the tribes were at war. Verbal attacks that often left their opponent gasping for rhetoric. The battles were rarely raged in the post but in the comments. Vicious. 

    Also found in the political tribes were the economic shamans. Condemnation for every problem but no solutions. They were constantly casting curses on the Federal tribes and warning the people of the devouring corporate piranhas that dwelled in the tribes river. I found myself depleted after this encounter.

RELIGION…….The current was too treacherous here to land.


    When my trip was finally over I realized a few things I did not know before. With “MYSPACE” coming to a downfall and “FACEBOOK” turning into a traffic jam, more and more young teens are coming on to ‘thoughts’to discuss their new found pubertal lust and weekly VBLF, (very-best-lover-friend). They also discuss their distrust of their stupid parents and teachers. They are totally clueless to anything political or economic. They are often pissed about Daddy only giving them $50 for the entire week. Here, these kids must list in the thousands by now. Too bad their tribe is not cannibalistic.

    One last observation……at lease 1 out of every 8 sites I visited was abandoned. Most for nearly six months. 

    All and all it was an eye opener. I spent almost 5 hours on this mental safari down the Blogazon. Now for my disclaimer: I write this without the intent of belittling anyone. In truth there are hundreds of different types of bloggers and a multitude of subject matter. If I have affronted anybody I am truly sorry as this was not my intent. If this is not sufficient, concerning my endeavor, well, I would suggest you write a blog for condolences.

    With my beer most gone and my butt getting cramps, I finally logged off and went to bed. My Chinese made pillow was nice and Wifey was not snoring. I did not set my alarm clock because I don’t think it fare that I be forced to wake up. Tomorrow morning I’ll eat a bagel for breakfast and then barf. Later I will read my book about the sociological problems of overweight Ninjas and maybe I will shower or just take a bath or just mildew. The stress of these kind of decisions makes me want to kill myself!

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  • Rawbee on Jun 16, 2010

    wow, I couldn’t stop reading this.

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