If I were to say I am happy; even then would you believe me?

Are you happy; completely, honestly, happy … inside and out?

If you think about it, happiness is frightfully, uninteresting.
It is true that being happy reflects on to others. Although nine-times out of ten, all you receive for this humble notion is a scornful and jealous expression in return.
That is why in my life, I have formed an equation, in which I balance my happiness.
Through the arts, I have realized that I can in-take a steady flow of positive energy, by expelling a rushing, rapid of negative energy. If I let go of two negative thoughts (in a creative manner); by principle I will be rewarded with a positive thought (two negatives = a positive). Which then, in-cycle, I transform into the motivation to put out two more negative thoughts and the world continues to spin…

Reduce.
Re-use.
Recycle.

Are you still hanging in there? … Good!
Now if you would like to know the shameful truth; just because that’s the kind of guy I am. I have not ever been as happy as I am right now, in this very second, of this very moment in time. I’m as happy as a sack of dead puppies buried in a hole six-foot deep, which is filled with Kibbles-n-Bits all the way to the tippy-fucking-top. Could you imagine their reaction? All those dogs going to heaven, I ask, why are you so mad?
I’m a firm believer in a Higher Power. It’s the only way to properly explain the things that can not possibly be explained. I have recently changed the name of my Higher Power. As I used to think he was a little Blue Guy that drank too much, supporting black outs and blood stains, and went by the alias Diazepam with a capital D. I have now realized that my Higher Power is much greater in all aspects of life. I refer to him as God (Please do not tune out now. Those who know me well enough, know that I would never impose my beliefs on another. That would require responsibility and I’m just not ready for all that).
I have been through several different kinds of learning institutions: Catholic School, Public School, Vocational School, Art school, Drivers school, Drug School; really they are all the same. Everyday it’s the same bullshit repetition. I suppose the point, is to prepare you for the dull life that is waiting just around the bend. Either which way, that’s irrelevant. The point that stands as relevance; is they all in one way or another are asking you to search for a higher power. Whatever will make you a better person? Although some folks miss this message and float through life hanging on too other peoples’ short and curly’s (i.e. the douche bags of our generation).  Those people aside; the rest of us realize the need for independence.
Like the Romans, we thrive to leave behind our own individual legacy. We must let the world know our first and last names, the year we conquered and the place in which we came from. Whether its spray paint on the side of building, a name craved into the cement on ones’ driveway, and/or the Sharpie marker on the wall of a bathroom stall; reading “So-n-so was here, 1995, Bitches!…” We believe that being remembered as legendary will equal happiness. What we fail to realize is that we are all already legends, the day we are conceived. Each one of us; we are miracles in our own right. Each of us is different with out putting fourth any effort. Our blood type, the color of our hair, use of the left and right side of our brain … right down to the prints that each one of us carry on our fingers and our toes. We are already born outside of the box. Sometimes through out life, we hop back in the box to establish comfort, which is fine. That’s why the box is there in the first place; everything has a purpose.
A problem ensues when you become dependent on the box. Dependency will destroy you; inside and then out, by all means. That includes everything from money and drugs; to Religion and Self. Expectation is a horrible word. Think about expectancy…
Any old way; once again I have let my mind venture off and I have lost track of my original point. Happiness is not something you should have to prove on a daily basis. Do you know the only two people to wake up every morning with a smile? …  Ghandi and Mother Teresa … and even that’s up for debate. All in all, if you read my words and you’re left with a feeling of concern or bewilderment. That is just perfect, that only proves the world is still spinning.
Not a person who lays eyes on this page has been or will always remain happy, or satisfied for that matter. If you did, that would put you in a category with God, Buddha, Allah or whatever you decide to call your Higher Power on that particular day… Get real…
If you are still lost and/or just fucking hard headed; one piece of advice I held on too. In all decisions, ask your self; “Will this lead me closer to life or death?”
Eventually; I bet, you’ll find out what it means to truly be happy.