… I have so many regrets, so many things I’ve not said. I stood up for you when no one else would, cause I thought you were the one. There was a time when you made me weak with the way you smiled at me. The way I could see your soul as I looked in to your eyes, your smell made me feel safe. All the things we spoke about, how I thought of you all day, waiting for a text or a phone call to hear your voice. I loved how you knew me so well, more than anyone, at the time, but now I hate you for reading my soul, and knowing my secrets. There was a day that I’d follow you to hell blindly, a day that you meant more to me than my own sanity. I gave up more than you’ll ever know. All I wanted was to hear you say you loved me, a hug, a smile…anything. You made me stronger, and let me fall with no explanation. All the plans we made, all the feelings I had, do you even know how much it hurt when you gave up on me to be with her? You would call when she wasn’t around, does she know what you did with me behind her back? He knows what I did, I’m not proud, but at least I’m honest. I’m sure you’ve lied to her too, just like you lie to everyone. You’ve denied everything to everyone else, pretended you never even knew me. But you know the truth and I’m sure you still drink in a corner; all alone and pray the pain will go away, or death will come swiftly. Does it get to you at night? When you lay next to her, with the secrets you have, do the memories you have of us haunt your dreams? Does it eat at your soul when he asks what you did with me, and you deny everything he’s already seen? Do you find it hard to sleep, do you think of what could have been when you think of me? Do you think of calling me just to hear my voice when you should be living your life? There were so many nights I cried over you, all the nights and days I tried to drink the pain away, from losing everything, and you don’t even fucking care. You call me and apologize one day, I told you it was okay, but you are never forgiven. One day when I’m gone will you miss the way I looked at you? Will you miss the way I spoke your name, my laugh, the way I smiled when you called? I could never express in an entire lifetime how sorry I am for the things I’ve done, things I should have said, things I should have never admitted. And yet, I regret telling you how much you meant to me, I regret throwing so much away for the possibility of having you with me. There will come a day that you’ll regret the things you’ve done…the life you live… But one day you’ll be alone having no one to love you…hearing your own damn echo. You are the maggot that feasts on the human soul, a leech; nothing you do is sincere. I have but one wish for you, to never think of me, never speak my name, never regret what you did, and never miss what you had. Never until the day you leave this place, when you are face down 6 feet under, a rotting shell, then you may miss me like hell. As for me, through all of the pain, the sleepless nights, drinking more than one person should, shedding more tears than you are worthy of…I have found my soul mate, my souls recognition of its self in another. And I love him more than I could ever express; he loves me more than you ever could have. I may regret the pain and heartache we caused for everyone, but I am the lucky one.