It all started when our uber geek, shit, woke up in a swamp. It was the third time it had happened. Feeling very pleased, shit attacked a live hand grenade, thinking it would make her feel better (but as usual, it did not). Suddenly cheered up by the Hammad theme song, she realized that her beloved diary was missing!  Immediately she called her lover, cows. shit had known cows for (plus or minus) one million years, the majority of which were flamboyant ones.  cows was unique. He was congenial though sometimes a little… stupid. shit called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

   cows picked up to a very ecstatic shit. cows calmly assured her that most albino cats belch before mating, yet Indonesian devil cats usually charismatically sneeze *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting shit.  Why was cows trying to distract shit?  Because he had snuck out from shirt’s with the diary only eleven days prior.  It was a saucy little diary… how could he resist?

   It didn’t take long before shit got back to the subject at hand: her diary. cows panicked. Relunctantly, cows invited her over, assuring her they’d find the diary. shit grabbed her elephant and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, cows realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the diary and he had to do it thoughtfully. He figured that if shit took the tricycle, he had take at least ten minutes before shit would get there.  But if she took the time machine?  Then cows would be abundantly screwed.

   Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, cows was interrupted by three insensitive Care Bears that were lured by his diary. cows sneezed; Not again, he thought. Feeling pleased, he aimlessly reached for his ripened avocado and carefully backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent–the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the bush, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief.  That’s when he heard the time machine rolling up.  It was shit.