I don’t know where to start.  I had a friend and now I don’t.  I’ve apologized over text messages, but she doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore.  We used to text each other every day.  That was not a good thing to do.  Spending time with someone everyday can be a mistake sometimes. Sometimes things can be said that can’t be taken back.  That’s what this texting friendship was like.  She was my college professor, but also a friend.  I miss our text messages, I miss our talks that we had over tea and meals.  It seemed as though she understood me and I understood her.  My problem was that I wanted time with her and not texting everyday.  I didn’t care if it was only every 6 months.  I just wanted something I could depend on.  We met Friday nights for awhile with a few of her other student friends.  Then, she said that she had no time and couldn’t meet anymore.  But, I feel as though I was tossed aside.  Once she said that she didn’t have any time, I overstepped her boundaries and pushed it.  I texted her things that I should never have texted her.  I said things I should never have said.  I wasn’t calling her names or threatening in any way.  But, I scared her and made her mad.  She never responded to me that night.  But, when I tried to text her trying to make conversation a day or two later, she told me to never call or text her phone again.  So, I know that she’s mad and isn’t willing to let it go. I want to talk with her in person about what happened.  I want closure.  But, I’m afraid that if I did go talk to her in person, she wouldn’t want to speak to me and still be scared of me.  I feel as though I was mislead.  She told me that she loved me and adored me, but this isn’t how a person acts when they love someone or adore someone.  Friends forgive each other usually.  Unless something really drastic happens to the friendship.  I don’t know what to do.  I miss her terribly.  I wonder if she thinks of me or if she misses me.  I want to sit and cry for awhile.  I’m taking her class again this semester (I’ve taken her for American history I & II) for New Mexico history.  She used to say hi to me when she saw me in her classes before.  Now she won’t say hi.  She says hi to my husband’s cousin, Lisa, but not me.  When i told her thank you for giving me a copy of the required article, she didn’t respond to me.  In class, I feel as though she is making eye contact with me in her lecture, but at other times she’s moves away so I can’t see her.  Behind other people so that others are blocking my view.  I don’t care what kind of friendship we have now or how much time I have with her.  I just want her friendship back to normal.  I want to be back where we were or even not.  I at least want to be friendly with each other.  I wish I knew how to win her back.