So, I have come up with a theory—a theory in which I can explain how a true relationship (romantic or otherwise) should work. And I can do this by solely using punctuation. It goes as follows:

I have decided that relationships need to be separated by semicolons. Why, you ask? Because a semicolon separates two independent clauses and, although they are independent and can stand alone as complete sentences, they are still enough alike to be joined.

A relationship that is separated by a comma, however, is not a good one. This is because a comma separates an independent and a dependent clause. Therefore, that dependent clause cannot stand alone without the independent clause. Without it, it is left a mere sentence fragment. Who likes sentence fragments? They are confusing, annoying, and convoluted.

Consequently, relationships must be able to be separated by semicolons—otherwise, that dependent clause will be left as an incomplete sentence lacking either a subject or a predicate and in need of some serious proofreading. And, c’mon, who has time for that?

Well, that’s my huge epiphony and my insight on grammar and it’s applicability toward the world of love. So, feel free to provide feedback. I am most receptive to constructive criticism with the one stipulation that it be in proper grammatical format…seriously.