Life is not easy, nor should it be. Sometimes it takes some pretty significant events to get us to where we should be in life. Growing up i have what psychologist call a dysfunctional childhood. When i was younger some very unpleasant things happened. Some of which i wont talk about but others were things from a drunkin father out of control father (only at times), Struggled with some pretty bad depression and many nights filled with thoughts of suicide, Trouble in school, Lack of finding good friends, and very low self esteem, having several friends committing suicide. By the time i was 15 i was doing drugs, i ran away from home and having sex. I had no idea of who i was and had no inspiration as to what i wanted to be.

As the years went by i got help for the drugs, got sober for a year but relapsed like many people do. My parents got divorced and i was just going downhill. I got on anti depressants and put on a happy face for everyone. i was out of control to the point my mom did not want me around my little sister i moved out to a boyfriend i was dating, we smoke alot of pot and i was trying Coke, Ex, and shrooms it was a terrible life style but its all i had because of the decisions i was making.

Sometimes you cant control what happens in your life, but all of this was from my own doing. I cant blame my unfortunate childhood for my actions. I found out I was pregnant, and at that moment i knew things needed to change. I know longer was living for myself i was living for my son. I straightened up and had already been back at my house with my family for several weeks trying to do better before i found out. I completely sobered up and I have been so grateful for the child in my belly. My depression went away and drugs and druggies repulsed me.

Ive been sober since i found out and now my son is almost 3 months old, the love of my life and my life saver. I would be where i am with the dream and goals i have if it weren’t for him. My life is so good and its because of the decisions I’m now making, not because of the event that’s happened that i couldn’t control. No matter what happens in life you always have to hang on and know that YOU can make a difference. I couldn’t ask for anything else i have plans for my future and goals for myself as a individual and as a parent.