my idea that gives me smiles and butterflies back then, is giving me creeps this very moment.. my soul, being his soul’s only mate. before, i can fall in love with that idea… over and over again. but now, bad as it sounds… i call it a curse.

because i really think, that we are.. ugh… soulmates. every time i’m doing nothing, just staring blankly at my phone, my mind neither preoccupied nor empty… he will suddenly beep me a message. every time i will be seeing a new guy, he will, all of a sudden, out of the blue, say -hi-. well, i mean, whenever i’m alone and not dating anyone… he won’t bug me. he’ll just pop-out whenever i’m trying to meet someone new. [curious it is… eh?] as if saying *hey. i’m still here. your one and only mate. trapped on this damn body* trying to seek attention so that my soul won’t have any chances to meet others.

this time… it sucks. really. our poor souls that are bound to be together for longest years can’t be together even for a split second anymore. our body and mind won’t allow it… can’t stand it. having the idea of seeing him again will always give me mere annoyance. the continuous communication we’re doing is not because we are still longing for cheesy hugs and kisses. [i am not wanting that… puhlease] it’s because our souls keep on pulling each other; like a magnet… no stronger. a gravitational pull.

but i really can’t do this anymore. i’m determined to invest my lifetime to a different person… not him. i’ll just pray that on our next life span, whether we’re a cat, or a dog, a bird or a junk… just make these souls meet. but not now. not a chance. never now.