How to Catch a Lie

Usually, it is easier to catch someone in a lie if you know them-and their habits and personality-well enough. Trust your instincts and try to get them to ‘fess up instead of accusing them outright. Don’t let your suspicions overrule your trust.

First, listen. Vocal changes can signal that the person is not being trustful. If he’s usually very descriptive then suddenly talks using general terms or using pronouns to hide names, ask him questions without giving the impression that you’re suspicious-yet. When people make up stories, they often tend to disassociate themselves from the story, avoiding “I” and “me.” With enough questions, you’ll soon see the holes in the tall tales. To investigate further, take note of keywords and analyze them accordingly.

Second, look for behavioral changes. Not everyone who can’t look you in the eye is guilty. If he normally doesn’t look directly at you but is now practically burning a hole in your head, take notice. He may be overcompensating and trying not to look guilty.

Last, look out for the “tell.” Almost everyone has it-a little habit that subconsciously slips out, giving the observant a glimpse at the person’s real state of mind. Does he pull at his left ear when he’s feeling guilty, or his cheeks turn red? Can you tell she’s happy because her nose wrinkles? Watch the body language; it never lies.

How to Say “No”

Is “No” a four-letter word for you? Can’t say no to managing the school play even if your schedule is already packed, and you’ll have to give up a few hours of sleep or a few mall trips with your friends? If you can’t say no to their persistent advances before you’re ready, you may end up giving in and losing what you really wanted every time.

The most important tip here is to say “No” like you really mean it-and mean it. Laughing it off or joking about it makes you seem unsure and gives them room to manipulate the situation, or to argue that they didn’t think you were serious.

Then, think about your reasons and keep them clear in your mind. What people will think of you doesn’t matter; what you will think of yourself does. If they persist and force their way, walk-or run-the other way, fast! And no, you don’t owe it to them to say “Yes.” No, you don’t have to apologize or explain.