Sometimes, I find myself staring out the window. My eyes search the sky or the neighbor’s yard, until finally the pictures blur into the black nothing that is my thoughts. The faded outlines and colors drifting in and out of my subconsciousness. Ghostly images passing before my eyes as scenes of the past are relived. Shadowy faces of the past flashing in my eyes. Their words stirring my emotions. Some good, some bad, some things I wish could have happened differently, or wondered how things might have been. Minutes turn into hours as I drift back and forth between the realm of what could have been and what is. Singling things out along the way, I take note and learn. I see the things I did wrong and I see the things I did right. I take mental note of each to keep repeating the same mistakes. Slowly the light outside fades and turns into night. The street lights flicker on and for the first time, in what seems like forever, I actually look at what is there. The silence is deafening. The darkness luring. My body relaxing into the heavy calm that beckons’. The projecting tiring my mind and body, bringing me to near nothingness. Sleep. Laying back and slipping a hand under my head, I continue to look out the window. This time it is not the yard I see, but the stars instead. My thoughts drifting forward this time. What I dream of and desire most, those that I love or lust for, and what I should do next. The thoughts run ramped as the stillness of the room starts to fade away into the same black void. This time, letting go and closing my eyes. Sleep finds me, but sometimes even when sleeping, those images do not pass. They become dreams. The dreams keeping me company through the night, as my thoughts did during the day.