The past few years of my life I thought I was beginning to heal.  I thought returning love in exchange of hatred and anger will heal others, and make them feel good at themselves. I thought I was doing them a favor. But it did not. They just became worst. It was just like tolerating them in doing the wrong things.  I realized that I was not helping others by letting them hurt me. I was tolerating them to remain unchanged.

I now realized that in order to heal I should not let others wound me as well. It is very difficult to be a wounded healer. How can someone heal others if he let others to continue hurting and wounding him? By doing so and by tolerating them, they would never know their limitations. They would never know when to start helping and healing themselves also.  In order to heal the subject to be healed should be willing to accept changes within themselves.

Loving others unconditionally and having self-respect should go along with each other.  If you tolerate others to abuse you then that is not unconditional love.  You are tolerating their wrongdoing. You are letting others to hurt themselves.  Being a martyr and exercising unconditional love is different.

We must learn from our mistakes. That is why there is cause and effect.  God sometimes let us get hurt in order to learn. But if we ask for healing then He is always there to help us unconditionally.

We have to set boundaries and limitations. Self-respect, love of yourself and loving others are unanimous. If you love others you should make them realize that they should also stop hurting others because in everything that they do, there is a consequence. If you want others to heal, then you should love them enough to make them realize that they have to stop hurting others also. They should treat others as they would like others to treat them also.  It is very simple. Just follow the golden rule that Jesus Christ have taught us all. This kind of love really heals.