It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to notice that men and women are very different indeed! Many books have been published on this fact, including the best selling “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” by Dr John Gray, which I would recommend to anyone hoping to understand their partner. The easiest way I can put it, without meaning to sound derogatory about either sex, is that men are more like a basic “on/off” switch, whereas women are more like “dimmer” switches, meaning that women can have a range of emotions at once, whereas men are “simpler” than women. This is not at all to say that men are stupid, emotionless, or cold hearted, but men often don’t think about things as much as women do, for example, a man will say something to a woman without meaning to be hurtful or deceitful, but simply not think it through enough. Women will take what the man has said and think about every single interpretation of what this could have meant. “You look nice in that dress” sounds like a nice enough compliment, but women – desperate to feel loved by the man they cherish so much, will think about that compliment over and over until it sounds like they said something they didn’t mean, like: “You look nice in THAT dress…” As if her other dresses simply don’t cut it for him!

I realise I’ve used the word “desperate” to describe women, but I don’t mean it in the derogatory – again! I simply mean that most women, like me, fantasise about the perfect man and the perfect relationship, and when someone comes along who feels like they could fit the profile, women try to make everything perfect. To a women, such as myself, because they see their man as perfect, they want to be seen in the same way. And because women are typically more sensitive and self-conscious than men, their biggest fear is that men will not “approve”. Which is also why we ask men what they think of whatever we’re wearing or possibly ask them to choose our outfits for us.

Both men and women have their advantages and disadvantages, for example, a man’s advantage is their quick thinking, decisive and concise way of thinking and judging situations. Men are more practical than women in the way that they dress, plan ahead and generally think about things. In a bad situation where you may need a problem solving, it’s best to have a man around to give advice, as this is typically what men do best. As described by Dr John Gray, men are “fixers” whereas women are “comforters”,  therefore when in a situation where something bad has happened to you and you’re upset as a result, women are best to be around here. A common problem is getting these two mixed up, i.e. speaking to a “fixer” when you need a “comforter” instead, or vice versa. If a woman is upset about something and she talks about it to her man he may offer suggestions which are useless to her if all she wants is someone to listen and hold her. She will get frustrated thinking that he isn’t listening, and men will get upset thinking that there is a problem they cannot solve, therefore possibly making him feel like less of a man, or a bad boyfriend. When going to a man for advice, tell them you need their advice as this will make them feel important – out of all the people you know, you went to him for advice. However when you simply need a shoulder to cry on, inform him of that too by letting him know that he doesn’t have to say a word, just listen and hold her, and that’s all you want. This lets a guy know beforehand that he is doing all he can and not failing in anyway, as this is a man’s biggest fear – similar to a woman’s biggest fear of not being “accepted” by her man.