Recently I got stoned again, after not smoking it for eleven years. It  only took four hits and I purposely didn’t hold it in.  I almost held in the biggest hit.  So glad I didn’t.  It was like instinct to hold it in.  Like riding a bike…once ya learn how, ya never forget.  But I didn’t hold it in and I didn’t pull a Bill Clinton, like I thought I would.  
  Five of us were playing Uno.  I had already warned everyone that I didn’t know what was going to happen and I was not responsible for any of my actions. I announced that it was starting.  My face was all tingly.  I threw down my last Uno card, that I could have won with, saying, “I quit!!” I also started crying. Then I was laughing, then crying. Not laughing til my eyes watered, but laughing and crying simultaneously.  I was pissed off, that I got stoned after not being for eleven years.  Everything on my entire body was tingly. 
  My kid wouldn’t go to sleep, so I regretfully went in to lay down with him.  I couldn’t lay still very long because of my body tingling, so I did leg lifts.  My kid was freaking out and I was pissed off.  I tried putting my mind elsewhere so looked at the batman curtains.  I started thinking “ I don’t remember batman having wings.” I told Shaun ( my kid) that I had to go to the bathroom.  I couldn’t stay in there any longer.  I tiptoed out of the room, then when he started freaking out again, I took off running for the bathroom.
  I hung out there, pacing back and forth, smoking, looking at my eyes, and using toothpaste to cure my cotton mouth.  I didn’t want Shaun to see me.
   Eventually I snuck out of the bathroom standing in the hallway.  I saw Mel ( my friend) so I held my hands together like a gun.  I went out and held the gun at her, laughing.  I slowly moved to the kitchen, quickly ducking down, when I heard Shaun start wigging out again.  I stayed there by the vent and was cold, so I covered it up, by sitting on it.  Some good that did, but I did nothing about it.  
  I think I was quiet for the most part.  All I mainly said was “Fuck!  Shit!  Piss! Damn it!  Fuck!” I was so pissed off.  Once I asked Mel if she had a blow up doll.  I was thinking that it could lay with Shaun & he may be fine.  She said I had no use for 1 of those and she knows I can’t use one.  Then all I thought about then was sex and how I couldn’t have it then  cuz I was already mentally fucked. 
  I was pissed off badly.  I layed there over the cold floor, doing four hundred crunches.  Finally, Shaun went to sleep.  Mel and Toby (her boyfriend)were standing at the table in the kitchen.  I stood in the middle of them.  Out of nowhere I smacked Mel as hard as I could on the ass.  Then I grabbed Toby’s nipple as hard as I could, squeezing, pulling, and twisting it.  I also kept poking Mel and hitting Toby’s arm.  I’d flap my hands a lot, as if I was trying to fly.  Hell I was already high.  I had idle hands.  Couldn’t control what they did. Just like in the movie.  Except in that flick, he had idle hands when he didn’t smoke it. Oh yea I was also on stakeout with their cat.
  After they went to bed, the cat woke Shaun up.  I wanted to take it by the tail, swing it around and around over my head anf throw it against the wall.  And I’m a cat person!    I wanted to hit Shaun, but I stuck with cussing at him.  Which I shouldn’t have done, but it’s far better than hurting him.  That shit made me so aggressive, which hasn’t happened before.  I think I was pissed off, because I was stoned after not being stoned in over a decade.  I also wondered how the hell I went to school like that.  I wondered why I’m like the only person on the face of the earth that pot has that kind of effect on.  Not my thing at all but I guess it’s ok as long as I’m being supervised by friends who knows what it does to me.  Apparently no kids or animals help too.