Many women at the well suffered sexual abuse and mental cruelty and other forms of physical abuse – not the same as disciplinary spanking or reprimand.  When I was just 3 years old, I was molested by neighbor’s son who was just a teenager at the time. This went on until I was 8 years old and we moved, not far enough away but the visits stopped.  By the first encounter, the damage, as they say, was done.  I heard Michael Jackson say repeatedly “I could never hurt a child” and I was reminded  how my oppressor  would ask me “I’m not hurting you, am I?”After a while, it did not hurt anymore so the answer was “no”. I was, of course like all victims of molestation, instructed not to tell anyone about our secret or they would send me away or beat me. To this day, I have a fear of abandonment and shame and feelings that everything wrong is my fault and I have to pull down and fight those feelings all the time. It all started with us watching TV together in his room while the adults played cards in the kitchen.  The next thing I knew, we were in the bed and under the covers and playing Mommy and Daddy.  He called me Mommy every time I ran into him over the years and I despise being called that to this very day.  I made sure my own kids would not call me that.  It disgusts me every time I hear that word and turns me off when someone call me that.  When he died, I spit on his corpse at the visitation or viewing before the funeral.  I didn’t attend the funeral and I wondered if the stain from my spit was still on his suit.  When I told my husband, at that time, he wanted to kill him or have him killed but God beat him to it because he had a heart attack and died shortly after I revealed it. My husband was twisted, though because he said to me later on, “now I know why you seemed like you had been doing it (sex) all your life.  He was my first, consensual encounter at least.  I felt like Celie from the Color Purple because I had been with someone who loved me before my husband yet he made me feel as badly as my oppressor. It is so important for the spouse of someone who has been abused, whether male or female, be understanding and patient as we deal with our past. If you have been abused, you must learn to forgive your oppressor or you will be bound in your own spirit!  Let God heal your heart.  Let the Blood of Jesus cleanse you and make you new.  Take on the mind of Christ and forgive them, for sometimes, they know not what they do!