More than 10 things I hate about you

A friend of mine wrote this on a particularly bad day.  I think a lot of people feel this way but never put it down.  She did and she said she felt much better afterwards. 

 I feel like I have failed the universe.  I don’t know any other way to say it.  I’ve let a lot of people down and I know there are quite a few waiting to see me fail.  Well you have what you want.   I wish I could just pick up and move some where far away where no one knows me.  I want to live far away from people.  I want to succeed from the union.  I probably spelled that wrong but then that is another error on my part.

I’ve hurt quite a few people in my life time and didn’t really mean too.  I’ve been told on more than one occasion, how rude, crude and abrupt I am.  Well I guess a bitch is a bitch and that is what I will always be.  I have no best friends, no one to do anything with and no one that calls me just to talk.  If I could turn back time, I would turn it back to at least 18 months ago, maybe longer.  I have made many mistakes in my life, but its not the ones everyone thinks they are.  It was not by marrying my husband or having a child out of wedlock. 

One mistake is trusting people that I shouldn’t.  It sharing secrets with people that I thought were my friends that I shouldn’t have.  It’s caring what others think of me, when really all that matters is what God sees in me and what is in my heart.  I have given up a lot in life for other people.  I guess that is a fault.  I’m not selfish.  But I guess there are some that see me that way.  I’ve let go of all my dreams and don’t know that I will ever get them back.  The things that I thought were important are not really that important any more.  I don’t want a big house or a sports car nor do I want to be rich.  I do want a place to live and call my own, and not owe anyone for it.  I do want a truck that is paid for, and I want to be able to take care of what is mine.  I’m tired of walking on eggshells around other people, when it is apparent; they are not worried if my feelings will get hurt.  I’m tired of having to defend myself and my husband.