I asked God each and every day for blessing for my immediate family, my blood family and the family I married into.  I ask God to teach me and show me how to be a better person.  I ask for wisdom and knowledge to handle the things He gives me to handle.  I leave all my burdens with him.  I thank him many times a day for the blessings He has given me.  And I know that He will take care of me.

But tonight, I’m tired.  I don’t care anymore what happens; I just want it to all go away.  I know that Satan is walking through my head, and I will take care of that, but feelings left bottled up inside you, cause more problems than if you let them go.

There are a few other things that irk me and I need God to explain it all to me.  I want to know how people that are claimed Christians, can just stand by and watch someone going through really tough times and not offer any kind of help, kind words or anything else.  I want to know how they can look at themselves in the mirror and still hold their head up.  I want God to tell me why!

I want God to explain why some people have no conscious and can do whatever they want and feel no remorse or sorrow.  I want to know why some people get things handed to them on a silver platter and others work themselves into a grave to achieve the measliest of things in their life.  I’ve seen some very Christian people live from one traumatic thing to another and they never lose their smile.  Then I see some Christian people who think that just because life gives them a hang nail, it is all over and that God has turned his back on them. 

There is no rhyme or reason.  I give up.  I am done with the world.  I no longer care about any one but my immediate family and our needs.  If I burn in hell for those kinds of thoughts, so be it!  I will address it with God when He calls me home.