“Lapdance“, sex tape, naughtiness, what about my ongoing battle with crippling depression, and what if I was ever to rise though I don’t see it happening.

Now I know today’s supposed to be about me but I can’t deny that a girl would have to do some pretty raunchy stuff to be with me. I think it’s because I have believed in… let’s call it “Courtly Love” for so long you know like “Spinelli on General Hospital“. It could simply be that I’m a twenty-seven year old virgin, yes I said it; yes I lie to some people but those people aren’t reading this so anyway I have always had such Pornographic Passions and yet I wonder “How Did I Fall In Love With You“.

I mention my depression, I can’t help it, and drugs can’t help me because unlike most people I know why I am depressed. A lack of confidence, the whole damn world, it could be the “Possibility” that I have been right all along; let that not be the case.

For some reason I believe that you or some other girl would be the cure for what ails me and what if you were? I don’t know it would be like to be happy, I honestly can’t remember it what it was like or if I ever was, I can only remember being in the fourth grade sitting beside the concrete steps wanting my girlfriend at the time to tell me she loved me and to sit beside me. The other day I was talking to this girl online and she said I was trying too hard and that’s how I live my life as if “It Will Rain” so I rush, I get stupid and when it doesn’t work I’m depressed.

So I meet you, you’ll do every sick thing I imagine, somehow or another I become happy; the question becomes, what will become of me; I need to rise and you need to fall and pills have never given me that balance but an “Angel’s Descent“?