It’s started, it’s back again,
I don’t know how, I don’t know when.
It’s come back, quiet and quick,
I don’t know why, but I need to stop it.
Break the cycle, break the routine.
Make a difference, change the scene.
I don’t know how, or what to do.
But I need to do it, I need to get through.

The cycle has started, its happened again,
sat in bed, causing myself pain.
I did it last night, I want to tonight,
I don’t think I’ll win, try as I might.
I need the pain, I need the harm,
I need the instant, sudden calm.

I wish I knew why its happening now,
I wish I could stop, I wish I new how.
Its hurting me, deep inside.
To do, or don’t. I can’t decide.

If I do it tonight, it’ll feel right
but I’ll hate myself in the morning’s light.
That’s how I feel, right now, while I write,
I hate myself, I want to do it again tonight.

Do it, don’t. Stop it, Start it.
I can’t reject this painful trip.
The super high, the friend I know,
but in the morning. Alone and low.

So I want to stop, I need to now,
but I can’t, I don’t know how.
I’d resisted so long, I’d tried not to do it.
But now I am failing, it’s my habit.

So here it is, my confession.
I need some help from this obsession.
I need it to stop, I don’t want the pain.
My Pain. Your Pain. Our pain. Not again.