Today I did not see a koala. MLIM

I ordered a sandwich at a restaurant with everything but pickles. There were pickles on my sandwich. I ate it anyway. MLIM

Statistics say that 1 out of every 2 highschoolers have smoked. I haven’t. MLIM

I published an article on Triond today and it got rejected. I wasn’t surprised, though, because I copy and pasted everything from a Wikipedia page. MLIM

Today I waved to a girl at school because I thought she was waving at me, but she was waving at someone behind me. MLIM

I brushed my teeth this morning but felt that it wasn’t enough, so I brushed them again. MLIM

I signed up to win a free vacation to Florida. I didn’t win. MLIM

Today I went to a magic show with my friends. The magician made a bird disappear. I acted like I wasn’t impressed, but I really was. MLIM

I watched The Office last week and laughed out loud to myself at least twice. MLIM

I found out that money doesn’t grow on trees. MLIM

Sometimes I wish I were Kobe. MLIM 

I own a dog. It is a golden retriever. I wanted a wiener dog. MLIM

Today I heard a Limp Bizkit song on the radio and wanted to punch a baby. MLIM 

Today I had a spelling bee in school and I lost. I misspelled the word “failure”. MLIM

Today someone asked me “What’s up” and I replied, “Good”. MLIM

When my phone rings nine times out of ten it’s my grandma, but every once in a while it’s a telemarketer. MLIM