Dear “New” Neighbor!

                Neighbors are neighbors at least to me you have one to the left one to the right one behind you and of course many more surrounding all of them. I am your new neighbor and I need to be up front with all of you. I have plenty of friends and don’t need new ones because with friends become problems and as neighbors it will be too close to home for me. So here is how I will be operating as your new neighbor.

1)   I will never say the words hello, but will nod an occasional hello from time to time

2)   My wife and I always have a fully stocked kitchen which is for our use only please respect this and never come knocking asking to borrow eggs or milk I don’t care if you’re making a birthday cake and are expecting company. We do not supply food to anyone at anytime even if your intention is to replace what you borrow.

4)   If you own dogs or have children we expect that you will keep the level of barks/voices to a minimum. We did not buy a house to sit around listening to unwanted noises. 

6)   If we unfortunately leave a car light on or a garage door open we do not need anyone knocking at our door to tell us of our own mishaps. We firmly believe that we need to learn from our own mistakes even if that means replacing a car battery.

7)   We don’t have parties and hope that you don’t have parties as well, if you do there is absolutely no parking in front of our driveway.

8)   Simply ignore us and we will ignore you and as I promised my wife our new home will be lovely and have the feel of being in the country on acres of land private and miles away from civilization. 

Thanks:

Your “NEW” neighbor.