NICKOLAS SAMMUEL MARKOWITZ

Feeling wonderful, walking down my neighborhood street. Here comes the cherry red van. Lights! Tape! Action! I am the man. Only fifteen, sitting with the fellas. Each other pound fits, hand to hand. Thinking to myself I’m tough like my brother, going to no-man’s land. I’m excited; I’m at the party, smoking the tribe smoke, my first tongue kiss-wee! wee! Holding her hands, feeling her body, maybe? I had it all figured out you see. I desire to know both lifestyles. I had to be free. I would never do anything illegal; believe me! A lawyer I wanted to be. A scholar at school, but I could talk to everybody. I had learned from my brother’s mistakes. So, I sought my parents to be proud of me. It was pretty late. Even though I was high, I called home and left a message for my mother: We’re close; I love my father too.

When we left the party, the camera was still rolling. We walked up the hill and J.J. was so demanding. The atmosphere changed now, the crew was laughing. Around and around in the circle the threw me; I felt like flying. “You stupid Jew! You stupid Jew” they said as I fell into the ditch, but I didn’t believe them. I knew they were lying. I held on tight to the memories of my mom putting her finger in my ear; we were playing. As they took turns whipping me with their baseball bats, I was crying. I securely remembered my dad and I being the pitcher and catcher; boy, he was smiling! I felt each bullet pierce my body parts as they threw the gun to each other. I thought I was no longer breathing. “You’re not one of us!” J.J. kept screaming.

I was not paying attention: I was too busy looking into the sky, star gazing. As they spitted at me, they poked my body to see if I was alive and moving. J.J. took out his automatic; and I felt myself floating. You didn’t beat me, J.J. I have something that I must relay. You let me out of my suitcase to roam free; but I choose to stay. I know  the others you killed, and we won’t let you get away. The lesson I have learned is that my soul is strong: It’s beaming all the way. You didn’t beat me J.J. You may have people protecting you; but from God you can’t run away. You didn’t beat me J.J. Your money gives you power while selling drugs let you destroy souls; as they forever lay. Like leprosy on your body; your family, friends and business associates will stray. I am not conversing about karma what’s about to happen to you won’t be delay. You didn’t beat me J.J.