Oscar

Jesus H. Christ, old man! Are you trying to blind me? Putting the light on and off and on and off, like that dick of a toy I broke. I made you think it would help me learn those asinine tricks just so you’d give me more treats. Fool!

“Hello, boy!”

Yeah, yeah! What in the fiery stench of Hell’s Ninth Circle is that? Oh, it’s your mother. I remember the first time I saw the disaster; I really thought the crypt keeper was your ugly grandfather. He was never the same after that accident…

Out of my way! Mangy flea-bag!’

Look in the mirror or your asshole? Better be one of those, or you’ll end up lost in that abyss I call your asshole.

“Mother, please. Can”t you see how he’s changed? He’s been so aggressive…he hasn’t been well.’

That’s right, you’re scared now. Back off, Hitler’s reject…wait…what did you say?

Might as well put the damned thing out of its misery.’

Shut your fat mouth! So you were saying…

‘Well…no.’

“Don”t start blubbering! You’re not the pretty, little girl you used to be. Now, spit it out, Martin!’

I never thought I’d say this without a thermometer threatening my anus, but what she fucking said.

“We went to the doggy psychiatrist. Didn’t we, Oscar? And she was lovely wasn’t she? Very helpful.’

“Ugh! I don”t know if I want to hear anymore. Your strange fag cult never ceases to surprise me. There’s even quack doctors for love-making positions these days! FILTH!’

I’m the witty gay-bash-er here…and I like hating you, so you stop telling jokes I like to hear.

Canine therapist! A therapist for the troubled pooch. They understand how difficult it can be for the modern pet, oh…never mind. Anyways, Alison said that Oscar may be emulating my…ways.’

But we’re best friends…only because I don’t have anyone else to psychologically abuse, but you take it so well and you enjoy it, which is more than I can say of a fire hydrant. Marty, you’re worthy of my criticism.

“What ways?”

“Ways of…some dog-walkers at the park.”

Well, we don’t walk alike, as opposed to that cotton-brained poodle, Chanel, and her Clifford, whom, if given half the chance would let her give him a golden shower than muddy her precious manicured paws. She is such a slut though…