http://twitter.com/Ziad_Nawsh

Well lets dive right into it shall we.

1. Why is it that everyone complains about pollution and filling up landfills, yet they want us to follow our dogs around, pick up their biodegradable poo and stick it into a plastic bag?
2. Why is it that everything that is all the sudden considered “green” costing so much of my green$$??
3. Why is it that every driver on the street drives so much worse then yourself.
4. Feed a man a fish and he will eat for a day teach a man to fish and he will never come home on time.
5. I wonder if poo was edible and nutritious would you eat it?
6. Why is it when something is on sale they never have your size?
7. Do they call it Black Friday because the stores blackball you in to thinking that your really getting the best deal?
8. Why do they have property tax anyway, you already own the land inst that enough?
9. What ever happen to friendly helpful bag boys, now i gotta pay for the overpriced groceries and take them to my car?
10. Why is it when i call customer support i need an interpreter?
11. If you ate a clown would it taste funny?
12. Did it ever occur to any one the reason that the Mayan calendar ends in 2012 maybe its because they couldn’t count any higher?
13. I wonder how many necks the count from Sesame Street has drank from….1….2….3.hahahaaa
14. Do ghosts fart? Maybe they are constipated, the do moan alot.
15. No one realizes the impact of having everyone quitting smoking…if everyone quit millions would loose their jobs…..tobacco workers, lawyers ,doctors, strippers, bar owners the list goes on and on….
16. Everyone fears the end of the planet because of global warming, i laugh at this what are we fearing anyway the end of poverty, joblessness, homelessness, corruptness, thievery, murders, robberies, hostile take overs, presidents, kings, queens, the house of blues again the list goes on and on…
17. If history repeats it self does that mean i have to divorce my ex-wife again?
18. What ever happened to good movies all we get now is vampires and werewolves…well we had them back in the day but they use to be scary.
19. If you beat up a mime it would be a near perfect crime i mean really who’s he gonna tell.
20. Okay one last one for this edition…..If the government and the president are so worried about credit card debt why aren’t they bailing out the people that owe money rather then the creditors.?

If you like this visit the first edition here >>> http://purpleslinky.com/offbeat/personal-funny-and-odd-observations/