Many philosophers have said through the ages people are a reflection of where they have been.  Without a doubt, that ideology is true of me.   Another common saying,  “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is representative of me as well.  In sharing my personal autobiography, I decided to present myself from where I am now, looking back over the years.  Narrating my autobiography in this way is the most logical manner, due to my particular history.  Two personal Biblical mottos have sustained me in the dark moments of my life “greater is He that is in us than he that is in the world,” and “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.”  And, the secular mantra which is woven into the DNA of my being, “never give up!”

I am 49 years young and strive each day to live my life to its fullest.  In my own mind I have made a conscious decision to live a productive life up until the age of 107.  At that time, I plan to move to the Lord’s house (unless he invites me sooner).  I also believe in behaving as if each day was my last day on Earth, and make each decision and relationship matter in a profound way.  In reality, this instant in time may be my final hour, or someone else’s.

Living life in the moment is a result of where I have been.  As a retired Arizona police officer, I have seen Mr. Death greet people without warning or provocation.  Driving one block down the street can be the last car ride a person or family takes.  New life, apparently vibrant and healthy, dies suddenly.  Elderly people passing alone in their house, with no friends or family who care.  Ultimately, the stench of death causes alarm, and results in a welfare check from the police.  After the deceased has departed, people “care.” Being regularly exposed to the frailty of life creates a great appreciation and respect for it.  

Perhaps recognizing the delicacy of life is embedded within my own soul, conceived at birth?   My mother was very ill and never able to carry an unborn child to term.  Consequently, I was born two months premature with health problems.  In the 1960’s, being born early was potentially life threatening for an infant.  My first few months of life was spent in an incubator. To this day, I love to be in small spaces, whether its a sleeping bag or a tiny cubicle.  My (deceased) aunt told me repeatedly “you were a fighter” and “God has special plans for you, because you should not have lived.”