If I were to talk after the seminar, this is what I would say.

Do you still remember the first things Sir Dudz told me during the first day of the training? “Ay sus Dong kamaayo ra jud nimo mu-sulti ana. Pero sa tinuod diay to di ra ba na mabuhat.” It was a tipping point for me. That night before going to sleep, I tried to ponder about it. Then I had so many flashbacks of similar feedbacks before. I had been told “englisero ra ng bataa na pero hangin lang sulod sa utok ana.” Normally I would get offended with those comments. Then I would feel discouraged. I would perhaps stop participating. Perhaps I would also be silent. It is normal because it is painful being told who you are that you believe you are not.

But no! I know myself better than others do. After my reflection, I convinced myself not be affected with those kinds of comments. Besides, I know they are not true but only perception!

If I get affected with small things like that, I would belittle myself. I would feel my role in the coop is useless because in the first place I only belong to a committee, not a BOD. That means I don’t have direct involvement with those big projects presented during the strategic planning.

But again no! I strongly believe that even if I were a messenger, a photocopier or a janitor doesn’t automatically imply that I am stupid. It doesn’t mean I can’t have my own idea about the project. It has been proven in other coops that you don’t have to be an attorney, an accountant or have any profession to help contribute the success of the coop. There are coops run by farmers and they are very successful.

After the strategic planning, I was faced with two fears.

1. More talk, less walk. I fear that those who attended including myself would turn out as excellent speakers and presenters of the projects but poor in the implementation. I hate that kind of person. And it would be a nightmare if I would become the kind of person that I hated. Challenge: walk the talk!

2. Shockwave effect. Everyone in attendance was excited. And I also got excited of course. Even at this writing, I still have the same excitement. What about tomorrow, the next few days, weeks, or months? Would I still feel the same excitement to pursue and support the projects we have initially laid out? What if I would lose the drive and the feeling of exhilaration I had during those times? It’s like watching Jackie Chan’s movie. Afterwards, I would feel like I wanted to become a Kung Fu master. After a few days however, it would slowly subside. Then I would later realize I actually don’t want to be a Kung Fu Master. I was only overwhelmed with what I saw from the movie. As with coop, I fear I would feel the same thing after sometime.

These fears however are only manifestations of my mind. They won’t happen unless I would let them to happen. And I hope the others also hope the same thing.

The facilitator did a great job. His style of trying to insult us was effective in a way to awaken us with what is real. It was brutal but the reality is more brutal than that. It will crash you if you are willing to be crashed. Coop is not a game. It is a serious matter but based from the existing situation, we are not totally convinced about it. The strategic planning was only a three-day preparation of the real odyssey ahead of us. The real deal doesn’t stop there. It hasn’t even started yet.