When did I first realize I became a grown-up? First, let me begin by distinguishing the difference between a grown-up and an adult. I’ve come to define a grown-up as someone who has forgotten how to be a child, or has dis-owned their childhood, and yet still continues to act like one – and I have come to define an adult as someone who can manage themselves and their happiness while fulfilling the promises and responsibilities they have imposed upon themselves. Most of us flip-flop between these states our entire lives, the key is recognizing them.

At age 6, after breaking my left femur – twice, in the same spot and in succession to each other – I made the not-so-conscious decision to act like an adult so that I could learn to take care of myself. This was encouraged by my elders, so that I would not let my experience hinder my physical, mental and emotional growth. It’s also the first time I fully realized my mortality, as well as my Mother’s mortality – she had died at the scene of this momentous event and had to be revived at the scene. Because of this, by age 8, I was encouraged to learn to take care of my family and our home; and by age 12, I was encouraged to perform a daily practice of everything from cooking, cleaning, doing laundry and, even manual labor through daily farm responsibilities. Therefore, I was never a devil-may-care teenager, like most can be. Instead, my ‘hardening’ experiences made me want to continue to learn how to preserve the things I have attained and would, or will, attain. Thankfully though, through this mindset of self-preservation and hunger to learn, my own understanding of my life deepened and self-awareness came into light. This isn’t to say that I didn’t experience the same pitfalls as everyone else – the heightened emotions, the lack of control, and the questions that arose because of these new feelings – questions of self-discovery, curiosity and the ability to define myself. These were, and still are, hard questions to ask and answer; but the self-control that followed, once I was able to answer to myself, continues to grow stronger every day. And yet, through my observations of the world, some people (if not most) haven’t ever learned, or never wanted to learn, to move forward from these defining experiences. They still believe their high school days are their glory days; and, in my opinion, the glory days come from the life that you are able to create after you’ve left the nest. From the moment you are truly ‘on your own’, the ability to more clearly define yourself and the life that you want becomes easier to perform. And once you have begun to create that life, the glory days begin to manifest, so that the memories will keep you feeling warm and fuzzy as the years pass by.