Couples who are always honest, honestly don’t last.

Guys… your woman doesn’t want to know that you’ve been banging your secretary on the sly.  Oh, sure, she might think that she does but let her find out… she’d have been far more content to have remained oblivious and confident that her perfect little world was in tact.  The obvious answer is, “Keep it in your pants” but in the event that you just can’t manage the task (and hey, most of us can’t), at least be intelligent enough not to get caught or (worse yet) confess to your transgressions.  She doesn’t really need to know.  I promise.

Ladies… your man doesn’t want to know how much you wish he’d be more romantic.  More flowers, more slow dances to that sappy song he doesn’t even like, more candle lit dinners, more long walks where you hold hands, it’s really just all a big yawn fest for the Penis Brigade.  Your complaints, however honest they may be, only alienate him.  You think you’re clearing the air, he thinks you’re being an ungrateful bitch.  By the way… you know who doesn’t care about romance?  The secretary that he’s boning. 

Manipulate situations.  Hide the truth when it benefits you the most.  Don’t pick a fight that you can’t win.  Lie, scheme, repent, repeat.  This is the first secret of a long lasting love.

Don’t believe me?  I bet you’re single.