Chapter 1: Ripcord’s Big News

Ripcord sat in his therapy chair as Snake Eyes recorded his thoughts down on a clipboard.

“You know, I never really had any friends as a child, so I think that’s what brought me to the team,” Ripcord said.

“……..” Snake Eyes breathed.

“Don’t be so mean!” Ripcord whined. “It’s not my fault I don’t have any friends!”

Snake Eyes scribbled down something on the pad then held it up for Rip to read.

ACTUALLY, IT KINDA IS!

“Stop being so mean! I thought you were my friend!” 

“……”

“You’re really going there? Seriously?” Rip asked.

“….” Snake Eyes moaned 

“I’m sorry my life is not as fit as your’s, look at you cant even talk!” Ripcord whined.

Snake Eyes stood up and put his sword to Rip’s neck.

“Don’t hurt me cuz I’m black!” 

Duke popped his head in. “Dude, thatz racist!” 

“That’s what your motha said to me in the bed last night,” Rip told him.

Duke just stared blankly at him then sighed. “You’re probably right.”

“That’s right I’m right!”

Bling! Bling!

Ripcord took out his phone. “You got Rip! …. No mother, I don’t want to pick up the milk! … No, you can do it yourself, I’m tired of doing things for you… No, I’m not with Scarlett, no matter how much I wanna be, it’ll never happen!” Ripcord slammed his phone shut.

Ana walked in and wrapped her arms around Rip’s waist. “Hey babe!”

“Oh, hey!”

“I was thinking we can get blue and green carpet and paint the walls beige,” Ana suggested.

“Oh, yeah! And yesterday when I was in Wal-Mart, I found some chairs that would just be PERFECT!” 

“Great, talk to ya later!”

“Ok, bye,” Ripcord said.

Duke shook his head. “Ever since you two got together, I haven’t had any appetite,” Duke sighed.

“Yeah, well get used to it cuz our wedding’s in two days,” Ripcord told him. “And Snake Eyes… is NOT invited!”

Snake Eyes threw his hands up in the air.

“Because you threatened to kill me cuz I’m black!” Ripcord replied.

Snake stuck up the middle finger.

“Why are you so mean?” Rip asked.

Snake shrugged.

“Well stop, it’s harshin’ my mellow!” Rip told him.

Snake punched him in the face and walked away.

“That was sooooo NOT COOL!” Rip yelled.

Duke laughed and followed Snake Eyes.

Bling! Bling!

“Hello?” Rip answered.

“Hi, is this Wallace Weems?” A lady asked.

“Yes it is,” Rip replied.

“We have a great opportunity for you,” the lady told him.

“What is it?” Rip asked.

“We have a chance for you to be the mascot of WWE,” the lady proclaimed.

“So, you’re saying I get to meet wrestlers?” Rip asked.

“Yup,” the lady replied.

“Like John Cena, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Edge, Randy Orton, and Rey Mysterio?”

“Indeed!”

“I’ll take it!” Rip exclaimed.

“Ok, see you in Miami, Florida in a week,” the lady said.

“Ok, bye!” Ripcord hung up. “Yeah!”

Duke walked in. “What?”

“I’m gonna be a mascot!”

“A… mascot?” Duke asked raising his eyebrow.

“Damn right!”

“For what?” Duke asked.

“WWE!” Ripcord yelled and ran away screaming like a little girl, “I got the job! I got the job!”