Greetings

At work, I visit people in their homes, most are older retired people.  Here are some of the clever greetings I hear from patients.  I work for a home respiratory company.

Me, “How are you?”

Customer, “Oh, I’m partly cloudy today!”

Me, “How are you doing today?”

Customer, “I’m doing OK, but I’m trying to get over it.”  This particular gun-loving older gentleman also said, “I need a job that goes from noon to one o’clock and gives you an hour for lunch, because that’s all I’m good for.”

Me, “How are you?”

Customer, “Well, I lost my mind and don’t see any reason to find it?”

Me, “How are you?”

Customer, “I’m too soon old, and to late smart!”

Me, “How are you?”

Customer, “I’m stiff!”

                When I went into one lady’s house she explained the messy condition of her home by saying, “Please excuse my house; it looks like the Devil went to Sunday school!”

When people ask me, “How’s it going?”  I like to answer, “It’s going right out my wallet!”  Sometimes I will answer by saying, “Oh, you know how it is, take the good with the bad, and hope you have some money left over!”