Hamlet modern text.

HAMLET
Doesn’t this guy realize what he’s doing? He’s singing while digging a grave.
HORATIO
He’s gotten so used to graves that they don’t bother him anymore.
HAMLET
Yes, exactly. Only people who don’t have to work can afford to be sensitive.
GRAVEDIGGER
(sings)
 But old age has sneaked up on me
  And grabbed me in his claws,
 And has shipped me into the ground
  As if I’d never been like that.
(he throws up a skull)
HAMLET
That skull had a tongue in it once and could sing. That jackass is throwing it around as if it belonged to Cain, who did the first murder! It might be the skull of a politician once capable of talking his way around God, right? And now this idiot is pulling rank on him.
HORATIO
Indeed, my lord.
HAMLET
Or a courtier, who could say things like, “Good night, my sweet lord! How are you doing, good lord?” This might be the skull of Lord So-and-So, who praised Lord Such-and-Such’s horse when he wanted to borrow it, right?
HORATIO
Yes, my lord.
HAMLET
Exactly. And now it’s the property of Lady Worm, its lower jaw knocked off and thwacked on the noggin with a shovel. That’s quite a reversal of fortune, isn’t it, if we could only see it? Are these bones worth nothing more than bowling pins now? It makes my bones ache to think about it.
GRAVEDIGGER
(sings)
 A pickax and a shovel, a shovel,
  And a sheet for a funeral shroud,
 Oh, a pit of dirt is what we need
  For a guest like this one here.
(he throws up another skull)

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