My response to the Triond Forum writing challenge where something is to be written using the words "Holy Temptation" and "Ignorance".
“Hello Doctor. Thanks for seeing me today at such short notice”
“You’re welcome Mr Snonga”
“Please Doc, call me Scoof”
“Ok fine Scoof. So Scoof, what brings you here today in such an urgent fashion?”
“Well Doc, it’s a bit embarrassing. I’m not sure how to say it”
“It’s fine Scoof. I’ve seen and heard it all. It’s completely confidential”
“Oh geez, I don’t know…”
“Well how about you start with what led to this issue that is troubling you. Where did it begin?”
“Ok Doc, that’s a good idea. Well you know it actually started over a year ago. I noticed one day while picking my nose in the toilet that there was a strange kind of rough and stained look to the skin on the big toe on my right foot. I wasn’t too concerned about it at first, but it started to spread to other toes and began to move up my foot. It was dry and rough and quite good for scratching the crap out of the back of my left leg when it got an itch. Again I wasn’t so worried, but when it started going up my leg it started to gross my wife out. She told me she was not going to shag no freak with the leg of a resurrected sewer mommy. So I went to see a doctor.”
“Ok Scoof, so you had a skin condition – that’s not so embarrassing. People get them all the time”
“Nah man, that’s not why I am here. You see, I went to see the doctor and he said it was some kind of fungus that I probably caught at the public swimming pool showers. He gave me this cream that smelt like a wet dogs butt, and told me to apply it to the fungus five times a day until I killed it all. Well I freaked out”
“Why did you freak out?”
“Because I had bloody well grown attached to my fungus. It was alive. It was using me for its survival. I was its mother and it relied on me for its well being. Out of complete ignorance the idiot thought I was afraid of the cream and tried to stick it on my skanky leg. So I bashed the crap out of him.”
“What!”
“No don’t worry. I realised it was the wrong thing to do. I apologised later and the courts decided I was not overly dangerous to society and let me off on a good behaviour bond. You have nothing to fear Doc – you’re a good guy I can tell”
Wow! That is a very interesting story for the challenge. 
A good psychiatrist would not touch you with a 10-foot couch! 
-That is one seriously wacky story and you surely should receive the award for this session of the Writing Challenge
These fantastical yarns of yours Duff need to go audio…I’m sipping f*ck-you-I’m- rich cocktails right now…and getting more of a buzz out of the reading this than I am out of the people I’m drinking with…one bloke is dressed up lookin’ like a giraffe…he’s wearing a tiara and a tutu…hilarious as always…terrific yarn Duff
Even more bizarre than most of your writings. Your mind goes down the strangest trails my friend.
Bahahaha!!!! I enjoy stupid but funny story like this. And nope, it’s mot normal for hemorrhoids to bleed. Scoof should go to the ER asap! 
Your imagination knows no bounds
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