Hello my misanthropic miscreants, are you yearning for more twisted and obtuse knowledge from your favorite tirade producing, soapbox elevated, intrinsically inebriated, male-cow excrement spewing, disgruntled, un-enchanted, caustically cynical blowhard?

Friends, I am a congenital birth defect! I am wholly unhealthy and do not fit well within the herd…I posit this due to the fact that I have something that seems to be missing from the vast majority of the populace. I can only imagine that we have somehow bred this out from our genetic makeup, our very selves, as an unnecessary and unwanted human trait. A basic respect for humankind.

“Dylan”, you may ask in your little voice with its breathy tint of sycophantic wistfulness; “but Dylan (sound of breathing), what is this thing who’s absence sparked your lunatic ravings?” I will, of course, respond with alacrity and wit (as is my wont). “I will not tolerate such impertinence! HOW DARE YOU CAST ASPERSIONS ON THE STATE OF MY MENTAL STABILITY! You mewling toad, you pusillanimous twit, you vermin-infested, halitosis emanating, .. carbon waste. “

I offer these gems to the unshaven masses as my thesis on humankind, so read on with rapt attention and store these nuggets in your think-hole.
· People spend their whole lives looking to be satisfied and fulfilled yet never actually attaining that state of bliss, the reason why is that they were attempting to obtain this from someone or something else. Honestly, do you think that another person or thing will be able to bring you contentment? Wake the fuck up! The only place you can find that is in yourself…why do you think babies are so happy? As soon as you realize that most of your life is a rationalization of one action to the next you can get a glimmer of what really matters.
· Humans have an inherent distrust of one another until they sense the opportunity to exploit them, the only thing that can make a person move past their comfort shell on average is the feeling they may have missed an opportunity. If you make this part of your makeup, as if you were a walking opportunity, you will likely have more and better trusting friends.
· It was not curiosity that killed the cat, it was this bastard bully I went to school with, Braly (pronounced “Brawl” –ey); appropriate eh? He stuck a firecracker up its ass and lit it. Which leads to my next point, apparently there was something in this avaricious, semi-retarded fuckhole’s genetic makeup that made him irresistible to women. Was it the fact that he was a misogynist? Perhaps it was the large, sloping forehead or the C average. It may have been the fact that he would indiscriminately dip his wick into anything that would allow him to. His sexual conquests were legendary in his mind and he was not afraid to let anyone know. Sounds great right? This is the guy that women loved then, and still do today……why? Are you fucking masochists?

You may sense an underlying theme here. What I am asking is that those stupid humans mystified by words from a pig instead of actions from a man, those of you who look for the muscle instead of mind, the look instead of the love.
Those who treat the man that truly loves them like shit…
It will come around, you will get what you deserve……

But, ……… no bitterness!