My story of being sexual molested by someone I trusted.

Sexual Abuse:  Being Molested

 

Sometimes as children things happen to us that we have no control over.  Those events in our lives are marked or remembered by other things that happened that same day. 

 

Most children are molested or sexually abused by someone within their own family, a friend of the family or someone they know. 

 

I was molested by my brother in law the summer between my freshman and my sophomore year in high school.  That was the summer of ‘76.  I remember it being a hot summer day and I remember that there was a movie called “Thoroughly Modern Millie” and it starred Mary Tyler Moore.  My sister was pregnant with her oldest child at the time and about 10 weeks away from delivery. 

 

When a child or young teen is molested, things are stolen that can never be returned and it mars their perception on how things should really be.  Sexual abuse by a loved one will either drive them closer to that person or create hatred so profound that it eats away at them for the rest of their life. 

 

What things are stolen?  Memories of a first kiss, first love, experimenting with their boyfriends and expectations of what love really is and how you should feel about the whole sexual experience when you are older.  It affects your self esteem and creates fear and not being able to trust a person.  It always causes doubts if the person you love really loves you.

 

It causes psychological and emotional problems.  I was never able to sleep with my back to a door or in a dark room, until I met and married who is now my husband.  I was very afraid to tell anyone what had happened.  I finally told my mother about two weeks after it happened.  I was forced to face the person who molested me for years after the incident.  I felt betrayed by my sister because she didn’t divorce him. 

 

The assault was not full blown intercourse.  His hands invaded my body.  He kissed me and violated me.  Feelings did rise that I didn’t understand at that time.  Years later when I spoke to a therapist and told him I felt guilty, he had me tell my sister it was because I felt things that only a person should feel with their spouse.  The guilt, however that I felt, was not over the feelings I experienced.  The guilt was because that I had let something like that happen and she was pregnant.  I don’t know if she ever understood. 

 

If you are molested or touched by someone inappropriately or against your will, please tell someone right away.  Don’t wait!  Don’t feel guilty!  Feel anger and betrayal.  You are the victim and it is not your fault.

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  • Miss. Day on Jan 26, 2010

    I admire you for sharing your experience. Many people don\’t understand the impact molestation has on a person. They assume that if it\’s not rape, it\’s not something that should mess you up. Or, if it doesn\’t happen more than once, it\’s something you should just get over. But, it\’s not like that. One instance can completely shatter you and morph your perception of the entire world. A very similar thing happened to me and I find myself comforted by your words. Thank you for writing!

  • XXElleXX on Feb 9, 2010

    Sorry to hear you were a victim yourself L.S.Farnsworth…an excellent write that will help people avoid, identify and seek appropriate help for child sex abuse :-)

  • tanya on Feb 8, 2011

    i have been molested and i told and he got away and im very emotional and get bad feelings what should i do

  • nic on Mar 18, 2011

    i guess if it was a cop that was doing it it wouldnt help to tell…

  • N/A on Oct 30, 2011

    I was molested at age 7. I was invited to a birthday party by one of my best friends, I didn’t know anyone there besides my friend, But that didn’t bother me. I was in the pool with older guys, and I showed them that I could swim in the deep end. I was so happy! As everyone ate, I wasn’t hungry, so i kept swimming. A boy about age 14 came by and asked me if he could join me. I was wearing a t-shirt and shorts, and he told me to dive down and bring up a pebble he threw. I did, and as I was going down, He put his hand down my pants and molested me. I wrote a poem.
    Your hand was “There”, But you didn’t care
    I tried to flee , but you had other plans for me.
    I stand there motionless with you in the water.
    Daddy feet away, and you were molesting his daughter.
    You were finally done, and after you were gone,
    I sit in the water thinking, “What did I do wrong?”

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