Sister is Sneaky

I tell you child, I wish I had a sister like everybody else does. I would love to have a sister to sit down and talk to, you know, sharing secrets and all that, but no, my sister is sneaky and you will never in your life find another one like her. Sometimes I think she is the very spit of mama. Now, mama was one of a kind, honey. You would never believe some of the things she done. But I don’t hold nothing against mama. She done the best she could with a house full of bratty kids and that’s the best anybody can do. But we ain’t talking about mama. This is all about my pig headed sister and I allow you’ll want to know all about it.

Honey, sister come sashaying down the trail looking like a cat that swallowed the canary and I knowed she was up to something. And she was too. She said to me, sister she said, I’ve got to run over to Aunt Almers. She’s sick and took to her bed and I can’t have my younguns going over there. Then she come right out with it. She wanted me to keep them younguns of hers. Sister, I said they’s people in hell wanting ice water. I thought for a minute the way sister was looking at me that she was going to clean my plow. But she just give me one of them old go to hell looks and told me I was going down a mighty slippery slope and I’d better think about where I was going to end up. Well, child, I knowed I was about to bite off more than I could chew so I shut my mouth.

I said, now sister you know I was just ragging on you, send them younguns on down here. I ain’t saying I wont paddle their rumps if they don’t behave their selfs but I’ll see they don’t get in too much trouble. Course, by this time sister was all blown up like a bull frog and I was hoping she would storm off home and forget the whole thing. But, lordy hon, she didn’t. I was going to have to look after them little hoodlums in spite of everything. I knowed I was in for it and it wouldn’t do no good to cry about it.

Well, child I didn’t know what in the world I would do with them younguns till sister got back. I really didn’t. And then a good idea just bloomed in my mind. It put me in a plum good humor and I was prancing around laughing to myself when them younguns come scrambling down the trail. All right, I said, all you youguns line up in two lines. I know a new game we are all going to play and the team that wins can all have a piece of watermelon.

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I said, now younguns this is the way to play this new game. Everybody zip your lips and don’t say a word till your mama gets back. No hitting or touching anybody. You lose if you say a word. Then I said, I’m pretty sure none of you can do it and if you do,  it will surprise the hell out of me. Now let’s see if any team can win that watermelon. Well child, they did it. They run around all over the place keeping their lips zipped just as happy as little pigs in the sunshine and I knowed I had found a pot of gold. Them smart younguns thought they was showing me up and I was so tickled, I gave them all a piece of watermelon. I ain’t telling sister nothing about it. And don’t y’all either. 

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