Honey I have to tell y’all or bust a gut, I’m just that aggravated. You all know Guthrie, my brother-in-law. That’s Sister’s man, but I don’t think you’ve heard tell of my other brother in law, Wally. He belongs to Sister Susie. And honey let me tell you he just wont do. He just loves his home brew and talk, you’ve never heard a man talk as much as Wally. When he’s drinking his brew he can talk the ears off a billy goat. And I’ll tell you the truth child, he’s talked at me till I’m plum wore out. Now Sister Susie works on the second shift at the cotton mill, and she don’t have no thought in the world that her man calls everybody in the phone book when she ain’t at home.

He’s called everybody he’s ever heard tell of so much that most of them folks has quite picking up the phone of a night .And the funny thing about it is he wants to talk to the women. He don’t care a thing about talking to the men. Don’t that beat all? When he calls here and Roy picks up the phone, that man will say, let me talk to Lacy, and Roy, addle brained as he is, will hand me the phone. If Wally belonged to me I’d trade him off for a good house cat that would snuggle up to me at night and keep it’s mouth shut. I wouldn’t put up with Roy doing such as that.

Some of these nights them women’s men will jerk old Wally out and beat the tar out of him and I wouldn’t blame a one of them. Sister is just at her wits end. She said to me the other day, Sister she said,what are we gonna do about Wally. He calls me so much my ears is tired out. We’ve got to find a way to make him shut up. And I told Sister, Sister I said, I know one way to cut him off at his knees but Sister Susie might not ever speak to us again as long as we live. I said, we can tell on him and Sister Susie will pull out his gizzard and eat it for breakfast. But pore old Sister Susie will be so shame faced she wont ever be able to hold her head up again. And we just can’t do that to Sister Susie.

Roy says, if you don’t want to talk to Wally, don’t pick up the phone. Well, we’re trying that now, but some of the younguns will pick up the phone in spite of everything. I told Roy, I said Roy, you answer the phone and tell Wally I ain’t here or tell him I’m cooking supper, hell tell him anything you want to, just don’t hand me that dad blamed phone. Me and Sister ain’t figured this out yet, but we’re working on it. If anybody has any good ideas about putting a damper on old Wally without upsetting Sister Susie, let us know. We’ll appreciate it.

 Tulan’s Stories:

http://gomestic.com/family/government-monitering/

http://authspot.com/short-stories/one-womans-story/

http://gomestic.com/family/sister-can-be-snippy/

http://webupon.com/web-talk/the-internet-9/

http://authspot.com/thoughts/sometimes-you-just-get-crazy/

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