Solomon Grundy,
Born on Monday,
Christened on Tuesday,
Married on Wednesday,
Took ill on Thursday,
Worse on Friday,
Died on Saturday,
Buried on Sunday:
This is the end
Of Solomon Grundy.

-Old nursary rhyme

Solomon G. was born on a snowy winter’s Monday morning.  His parents, always in a hurry, took him to the church the next day, and the ice-cold droplets of water, sprinkled liberally from the christening font caused his little body to jump and his baby heart to skip. Throughout the service he trembled in the cold hands of the old vicar. He contracted pneumonia, and was a sickly child for all his formative years

He got married on a Wednesday so that he could have a full day’s combined holiday and honeymoon without taking too much time from his work. He was exhausted by the night’s exertions with his energetic young wife, and he was pale and ill the next day. His illness worsened on Friday, and by Saturday he was dead.

His family, still in a hurry, buried him on Sunday. The wake that night was a lot of fun; his widow got drunk and flirted with his workmates as they drank beer in front of the blazing fire.

Everyone agreed that Solomon G. would, for once have enjoyed himself, had he managed to be present.