Some Silliness to Defray Boredom Two

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I saw on the news that the guy that wrote the hokey pokey song died recently.

The funeral ran late as the funeral personnel took longer than usual getting Mr. LaPrise into the coffin. 

You see, they put his left leg in, and then the trouble started.

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Think about how soap must feel:  one minute you are next to godliness; the next minute you are scum going down the drain.

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There once was a man who just wasn’t right. 

His face wasn’t right, his hunchbacked body twisted, his clothes didn’t fit, he had different size feet, he had wandering eye in one eye and the long stare in the other, no sense of rhythm, a hair lip, cleft palate, tennis elbow even though he didn’t play tennis, crotch rot, halitosis, bromidrosis, and eight very short dreadlocks. He was given to fits of crying, fits of laughing, spastic fits, and would sometimes stare for hours at anything handy.

One day during a relatively calm interval between fits he tore the cross from round his neck and raised his fists to the heavens and yelled “God!  Why have you done this to me?!”

And from the infinite somewhere The Perfect Voice said: “I dunno, just something about you I don’t like.”

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If the water pressure is so high at the bottom of the ocean then why don’t we run some pipes down there and hook them up to some turbines on the surface for some free power?

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Just remember that a day without sunshine is like night.

On the other hand, what is the speed of dark?

Think of how much deeper the oceans would be without the sponges.

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A guy closes his menu and asks his waiter “How do you prepare the chicken?”

 The waiter, his first day on the job, says “There’s nothin’ special… we just flat out tell ‘em they’re gonna die.”

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 “An acquaintance is a person you would borrow money from, but not lend money to.”

(Ambrose Bierce in ‘The Devil’s Dictionary’)

Charlie Chapman entered a “Charlie Chapman Look Alike Contest” and came in third place.

The odds are fifty-fifty that I have something to say.

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Every day you wake up in an alternate universe.  You don’t remember you had tentacles and numerous vibrational vectors yesterday, do you?

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http://www.triond.com/users/LewSethics

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http://purpleslinky.com/humor/some-silliness-to-defray-boredom/

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http://authspot.com/thoughts/et-tu-toto/

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http://scienceray.com/astronomy/we-have-found-the-center-of-the-universe/

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http://authspot.com/short-stories/one-day-at-the-watering-hole/

http://authspot.com/novels/one-day-at-the-watering-hole-2/

http://authspot.com/short-stories/one-day-on-the-edge/

http://authspot.com/short-stories/one-day-at-schroedingers-cat-house/

http://authspot.com/short-stories/one-day-at-the-watering-hole-or-blasedon-you-the-one/

http://authspot.com/short-stories/one-day-at-the-races-the-brontosaurus-one-hundred-yard-dash/

http://authspot.com/short-stories/one-day-at-the-boneless-chicken-farm/

http://authspot.com/short-stories/one-day-at-the-watering-hole-silence-is-golden/

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