I saw a picture today of an enormous spider found in Manchester. This creature was like something from a Harry Potter movie. At least two foot long. I have seen a plate spider and a bird eating spider but this thing took the biscuit (and the rest of the cupboard contents) It made me wonder about people’s feelings towards them. I have a healthy respect for them, so long as they are keeping their distance. One lands on my face and it’s every man for himself. However if there is one in the corner of the hall waiting to catch any smaller insects that may dain to enter my premises and i don’t really mind. I understand the ‘heebee jeebee’ factor. Having tried to catch them humanely with a glass and piece of paper to put them back outside i have occasionally caught one of it’s legs in my entrapment aparatus and shuddered. Recently at my mom’s house i felt something tickling my back, i told my sister and said it was probably one of my ever shedding long hairs but it continued. She sat opposite me and suddenly looked alarmed. This creature from the black lagoon was carousing around my chest from my back, it was black and yellow striped and put me in mind of the movie ‘Madagascar’ the words ‘Howdy doo’ sprang to mind. With this i shreaked and ran around the kitchen like a woman posessed undressing as i went. I saw it fall and run off horrified itself. I put my clothes back on and went to the bathroom where as i looked in the mirror i saw it clinging to my long hair. How it managed this was quite impressive (unless there were two working as a tag team) i managed to free my intruder and stomped on it with rigour. With my screeching reminiscent of the soundtrack from the movie ‘Psycho’ my sister thought the bin men were coming and was gathering the recycling. I don’t know if they are particularly attracted to me but then, while styling my hair one crept onto the edge of my dressingtable, it was a menacing looking devil and i wouldn’t be surprised if it was concealing weapons. I picked up the nearest thing which was my hair spray and squirted it in the fashion of darth vader with his lightsaber. Unfortunately these prehistoric creatures are not phased by the odd sticky blast of a chemical setting agent and it did a mission impossible syle disappearing act. Later i saw it again, it’s hair looked fabulous but was otherwise unaffected.