Starbucks: Starting with the Coffee Cup Sizes

You know what makes me so mad? Starbucks. Why? It’s because of their stupid coffee cup sizes. Look, if you could go to a gas station (or a NORMAL place to buy coffee), you can just say you want a small, medium, or large, or even extra large for those people who need it more or just zonked on caffeine. However, going to Starbucks is like visiting another country for five minutes or so. You stand in line listening to those people blah-blah-blahing for a grande double mocha latte or a tall caramel frappuccino, and other people lounging around poking at their laptops or notepads as if they NEED to look busy. What? Will the Starbucks people get pissed at you every time you look like you’re just hanging out? It makes me so sick and annoyed because every time you stare at them, they suddenly twitch their heads toward those computer screens, and makes you wonder, “What the heck’s his flippin’ problem?”

Finally, it’s your turn. You then ask for that frappuccino or that chai that sounds SO good. The guy, with his ridiculous green hat and apron, just asks, “Tall, Grande, or Venti?” When you are bewildered, the guy makes a noticeable groan. More groans occur from not just Mr. “I get paid $6.15 an hour just to stunt everybody’s growth and lucidity with an overdose of caffeine and sugar”, but from the other Starbucks no-lifes who stop there EVERY day just to get that cup of tasty goodness. Hey, it’s not your problem the guy talks like an adult in the world of Charlie Brown. “Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah” is all I hear, but somehow, all the other regulars somehow understand it.

Then, there’s that name calling so you can get your coffee. What’s the point of that? Sure, it looks like they’re calling your name so you can get your coffee, but couldn’t they do the same with numbers or something? Burger King does that all the time, and they don’t seem to have any problems. If they’re trying to get to know you, be my guest, but don’t try to give your name away so easily. They’re not trying to force you into their family or anything. Sure, they say your name lots of times during the day; does that mean every coffee order is for you? I sincerely doubt it, or you’d be pretty much jittery and euphoric from the caffeine and other ingredients of capitalist wholesome goodness.

And then, you have to give tips every time you buy something. It’s so pointless! Come on, they’re already ripping you off with coffee that you could just make at home from a can. I don’t see the point of giving them a tip. *sips caramel frappuccino* Ahhh! Well, this stuff ain’t so bad, almost good enough to give you a tip! Nah, just pulling your leg! Gotta go! Bye!